You wake up one day and the idea that you are overweight, out of shape and off-track gnaws at you so much you need to act. So I tell my friend TK that I need his help. Can’t do this alone.
So TK gives me a book. Renovation of the Heart in Daily Practice, by Dallas Willard and Jan Johnson. Typical TK – he knows me well enough to know that the only way to change my outer physical shape is to start within… by changing my heart.
Each chapter is only two-three pages, but it takes me a few days to let a chapter sink in. So I think about what it means to linger on the beauty of God and God’s Kingdom. Asking God to show me the small steps in my life that will quietly and certainly lead to inner transformation. And whether I can rely on the love and divine grace of Jesus Christ to transform me into the man I was mean to be.
Here’s the big take away from week one: in the past, whenever I would spend time thinking about my relationship with Christ, I spend most of the time thinking about me.
What prayers can I put before God?
How did I fall short of His will?
Where did I need God’s help?
When was I obedient, when was I not?
What does God have to say to me? Can I hear Him today?
So this week I am trying to shift the focus, not worry about me, and simply enjoy the awesomeness of God. Or what Willard and Johnson call “dwelling on the beauty of God and the Kingdom life.”
Showing posts with label self-improvement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-improvement. Show all posts
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
will I persevere?
You pray, pray, pray, pray… and nothing happens. Sound familiar?
So what happens? The despair, pressures and uncertainty of life remain. And then this sinking feeling sets in when you realize that the lack of response from God the Father only brings more despair, increased pressure and greater uncertainty.
A friend of mine has been dealing with life’s circumstances for some time now. And despite prayer, he seems to grow more weary every week. (You can pray for him here.)
So this morning I was wondering… is this what perseverance looks like? If so, am I personally ready for such a test?
At a men’s group on Monday, Kris shared a passage from 2 Peter:
We talked about the process of becoming more Christ-like, and the steps and work involved getting there. If you’re a regular reader here, you’ll know that I’ve been dealing with issues of self-control for some time on a number of fronts—and have increasingly become more confident in the power I have with Christ in this regard.
So this morning I shuddered a bit. Because the next item on the list is perseverance.
And as I think about the friend mentioned above… the one who seemingly deals with despair, pressures and uncertainty without God jumping in to change life’s circumstances … I see him not only as a friend in need of prayer… I see him as a role model for the path I have yet to reach.
So what happens? The despair, pressures and uncertainty of life remain. And then this sinking feeling sets in when you realize that the lack of response from God the Father only brings more despair, increased pressure and greater uncertainty.
A friend of mine has been dealing with life’s circumstances for some time now. And despite prayer, he seems to grow more weary every week. (You can pray for him here.)
So this morning I was wondering… is this what perseverance looks like? If so, am I personally ready for such a test?
At a men’s group on Monday, Kris shared a passage from 2 Peter:
For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.
We talked about the process of becoming more Christ-like, and the steps and work involved getting there. If you’re a regular reader here, you’ll know that I’ve been dealing with issues of self-control for some time on a number of fronts—and have increasingly become more confident in the power I have with Christ in this regard.
So this morning I shuddered a bit. Because the next item on the list is perseverance.
And as I think about the friend mentioned above… the one who seemingly deals with despair, pressures and uncertainty without God jumping in to change life’s circumstances … I see him not only as a friend in need of prayer… I see him as a role model for the path I have yet to reach.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
learning to hate
Other men, other Christian men, have shared with me that they have been tempted by pornography or sexual fantasies.
About three years ago, I shared one of my more personal diaries, reflecting on my willingness to fall into this temptation myself… and God’s amazing ability to pull me out.
And yet, even after that miraculous God event, I continued to disobey. Vows to repent, feelings of guilt and heartfelt prayers would be followed by moments of weakness… and at some point… when I was no longer afraid to ask for forgiveness… an abundance of God’s grace. Rinse. Repeat. Rinse. Repeat.
That changed about a month ago.
My Saturday bible study group was looking at Psalm 139. And with snow delays and other schedule conflicts, we ended up going three weeks without a meeting. Three weeks with Psalm 139.
I have since come to learn that this Psalm holds a special place in the hearts of many people I know… men and women who have taken the time to memorize the words. If you take the time to read this lyrical prayer, you will quickly understand why.
You have searched me, LORD, and you know me.
It opens with a poetic statement of intimacy… describing an active, personal relationship between a single person and the creator of the universe… a God who has taken the time to listen to you… to know you by name.
Where can I flee from your presence?
Through the highs and the lows, the darkness and the light, our God is with us in every way possible… always at our side.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
God not only loves all people… he loves me… me… for the precise person I am... the soul, the personality, the being that is uniquely me.
And then… in the midst of this psalm of intimacy and closeness, David takes an abrupt turn in verse 19.
If only you, God, would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty! They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you? I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.
Where did this come from? God and I were having this nice chat, and then all of a sudden we are talking about slaying, hatred and enemies. What’s up with that?
Now I have no enemies… and certainly not any enemies that I was looking to whack. Did not Jesus tell us to love our enemies? And who are ‘those who hate God’… atheists? Muslims? Were they not God’s children as well? These words did not resonate in any way. And what happened to that God of love and intimacy from verses 1 through 18?
To be honest, I kind of glazed over these verses the first week. Then when I hit week two of re-reading Psalm 139, I think I may have intentionally skipped these lines. By the third week, however, God was speaking to me through these verses in a new way. In a way that has changed my life.
You see… I had previously spoken about the inclination to let my mind wander toward sexual fantasy as a weakness. I was being tempted. Being lured into a place I had no desire to go. Yes, I was the victim. Helpless.
But that’s not really the case.
Because I had the power to hate. To hate the sin that drove me from God. To hate and despise the mere thought of this act. And on that day, this temptation no longer stood as a weakness, a flaw. It stood as an enemy. One that needed to be hated… one to be slayed.
That was a month ago. Any this hatred still burns today. And my enemy has not dared to show his face for all this time. And I am glad. And strong. And free.
For my Lord has searched me. And knows me. He leads me in the way everlasting. And I would hate for it to be any other way.
.
About three years ago, I shared one of my more personal diaries, reflecting on my willingness to fall into this temptation myself… and God’s amazing ability to pull me out.
And yet, even after that miraculous God event, I continued to disobey. Vows to repent, feelings of guilt and heartfelt prayers would be followed by moments of weakness… and at some point… when I was no longer afraid to ask for forgiveness… an abundance of God’s grace. Rinse. Repeat. Rinse. Repeat.
That changed about a month ago.
My Saturday bible study group was looking at Psalm 139. And with snow delays and other schedule conflicts, we ended up going three weeks without a meeting. Three weeks with Psalm 139.
I have since come to learn that this Psalm holds a special place in the hearts of many people I know… men and women who have taken the time to memorize the words. If you take the time to read this lyrical prayer, you will quickly understand why.
You have searched me, LORD, and you know me.
It opens with a poetic statement of intimacy… describing an active, personal relationship between a single person and the creator of the universe… a God who has taken the time to listen to you… to know you by name.
Where can I flee from your presence?
Through the highs and the lows, the darkness and the light, our God is with us in every way possible… always at our side.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
God not only loves all people… he loves me… me… for the precise person I am... the soul, the personality, the being that is uniquely me.
And then… in the midst of this psalm of intimacy and closeness, David takes an abrupt turn in verse 19.
If only you, God, would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty! They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you? I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.
Where did this come from? God and I were having this nice chat, and then all of a sudden we are talking about slaying, hatred and enemies. What’s up with that?
Now I have no enemies… and certainly not any enemies that I was looking to whack. Did not Jesus tell us to love our enemies? And who are ‘those who hate God’… atheists? Muslims? Were they not God’s children as well? These words did not resonate in any way. And what happened to that God of love and intimacy from verses 1 through 18?
To be honest, I kind of glazed over these verses the first week. Then when I hit week two of re-reading Psalm 139, I think I may have intentionally skipped these lines. By the third week, however, God was speaking to me through these verses in a new way. In a way that has changed my life.
You see… I had previously spoken about the inclination to let my mind wander toward sexual fantasy as a weakness. I was being tempted. Being lured into a place I had no desire to go. Yes, I was the victim. Helpless.
But that’s not really the case.
Because I had the power to hate. To hate the sin that drove me from God. To hate and despise the mere thought of this act. And on that day, this temptation no longer stood as a weakness, a flaw. It stood as an enemy. One that needed to be hated… one to be slayed.
That was a month ago. Any this hatred still burns today. And my enemy has not dared to show his face for all this time. And I am glad. And strong. And free.
For my Lord has searched me. And knows me. He leads me in the way everlasting. And I would hate for it to be any other way.
.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
just a little over 100
The 100 Thing Challenge dares you to live for an extended period of time with only 100 possessions. What you “count” as yours is really up to you. The idea is simply to de-clutter and de-stuff your life so you can make more room for reflection, relationships and the important things.
I have not started my 100 Think Challenge, but was intrigued enough by the idea to take inventory. Surprise, surprise, I came in just over 100. Well, actually the total came in at 458. And that’s not counting several sweaters (in the attic), my “skinny Ed” pants (in boxes) and all the books, CDs, DVDs, photos and videos I’ve accumulated over the years.
Here’s a top-line inventory:
23 Baseball Caps
13 Pair of Shoes
32 Ties
3 Gloves
2 Winter Hats
43 Sweatshirt/Sweaters/Coats
13 Suits/Sports Jackets
50 Pants/Shorts
140 Shirts
63 Socks/Undergarments
16 Rings/Cufflinks/Pins/Watches
7 Memorabilia/Gifts
8 Golf Trophies
12 Household Items (Toolbox. Frying Pans)
11 Sports Related Items (Golf Clubs, Mitt, Bike)
9 Personal Items (Wallet, Razor, etc.)
Many Books, CDs, DVDs, Photos, Videos
Sleeping Bag and Tent
5 Consumer Electronics
1 Car
1 Bible
Some tidbits.
Yes, I own a Barbie Doll (a UVa collectible). There are six watches in my bureau, none work. Of my 300+ articles of clothing, nearly 25% have not been worn in the past year. There’s a golf-ball marker that was used once about a dozen years ago. And a “Milennium” bottle of Bud that has aged a decade in my closet.
Not sure what’s next, so stay tuned. But I can say that I was a Rotary Club meeting last Friday and they were selling club gear – a hat and a T-Shirt for $25. And as I reached into my pocket, it dawned on me that I had 23 baseball caps sitting at home. So I passed. For now.
I have not started my 100 Think Challenge, but was intrigued enough by the idea to take inventory. Surprise, surprise, I came in just over 100. Well, actually the total came in at 458. And that’s not counting several sweaters (in the attic), my “skinny Ed” pants (in boxes) and all the books, CDs, DVDs, photos and videos I’ve accumulated over the years.
Here’s a top-line inventory:
23 Baseball Caps
13 Pair of Shoes
32 Ties
3 Gloves
2 Winter Hats
43 Sweatshirt/Sweaters/Coats
13 Suits/Sports Jackets
50 Pants/Shorts
140 Shirts
63 Socks/Undergarments
16 Rings/Cufflinks/Pins/Watches
7 Memorabilia/Gifts
8 Golf Trophies
12 Household Items (Toolbox. Frying Pans)
11 Sports Related Items (Golf Clubs, Mitt, Bike)
9 Personal Items (Wallet, Razor, etc.)
Many Books, CDs, DVDs, Photos, Videos
Sleeping Bag and Tent
5 Consumer Electronics
1 Car
1 Bible
Some tidbits.
Yes, I own a Barbie Doll (a UVa collectible). There are six watches in my bureau, none work. Of my 300+ articles of clothing, nearly 25% have not been worn in the past year. There’s a golf-ball marker that was used once about a dozen years ago. And a “Milennium” bottle of Bud that has aged a decade in my closet.
Not sure what’s next, so stay tuned. But I can say that I was a Rotary Club meeting last Friday and they were selling club gear – a hat and a T-Shirt for $25. And as I reached into my pocket, it dawned on me that I had 23 baseball caps sitting at home. So I passed. For now.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
the '100 thing' thing
This article in the NY Times business section caught my attention this weekend. It tells the story of Tammy Strobel who, emboldened by a Web site that challenges consumers to live with just 100 personal items, winnowed down her wardrobe and toiletries to precisely that number.
With my laptop (personal item #1) and the old Google machine, I came across the 100 Thing Challenge – which motivated me to take a quick glance into my closet this morning. For starters, found:
- 23 baseball caps
- 30 golf shirts
- 11 pair of shoes
It took me all of 30 seconds to count these items. Plan is to do a more complete inventory of “my stuff” over the next week. Not sure where this is going… so stay tuned for more!
With my laptop (personal item #1) and the old Google machine, I came across the 100 Thing Challenge – which motivated me to take a quick glance into my closet this morning. For starters, found:
- 23 baseball caps
- 30 golf shirts
- 11 pair of shoes
It took me all of 30 seconds to count these items. Plan is to do a more complete inventory of “my stuff” over the next week. Not sure where this is going… so stay tuned for more!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)