the kingdom is near

just open your eyes
listen for his voice
walk through the gate
and you will be saved

live without fear
for jesus is the resurection
put your trust in the light
and you will be honored
.

the top ten

When was the last time you thought about the ten commandments? I mean really thought about them?

Personally, I am not sure if I ever really invested a lot of time thinking about it. After all, it was not like I was out killing anyone. When you think about it though, this is our Lord's top ten list. Written in stone. He never issued any ammendments. This is it.

Over each of the past ten weeks, I have spent some time meditating and praying over the ten commandments... how each commandment applies to me, where I have fallen short, where I need God at work in my life.

If you have some time, you may want to take a similar journey. Until then, here's where I ended up...

1. You’re the one.
2. Don’t make ‘em jealous.
3. I swear…
4. Take five. That’s an order.
5. Luv your mum and pa.
6. Ahh, yer killin’ me!
7. Shhhh…. we’re talking adultery.
8. Don’t touch my stuff!
9. Liar, liar pants on fire.
10. That covet thing.

Peace to you, EG
.

kingdom seeking

restore to community.
do you have love in your heart?
rise to love. rise to live.

you can go beyond the possible.
instead of waiting for miracles,
simply see. say. feel. do.

not on your time, on his
those streams of living water within you...
let them flow. let them flow.

when you hear the truth, tell the world.
free yourself. free the world.
do you hear? can you hear?
.

can you see the kingdom?

.
the kingdom of god is unrecognized… unaccepted.
yet it recognizes and accepts you.

it is visible only to those who trust in the lord. so…
the responsibility to share this view is bestowed unto thee.

john saw the truth and told andrew, who then found his brother.
it was the very first thing that he did.

some will follow. others will question.
our job is to be fearless about spreading the love.

for the vision of the kingdom is the range of god’s effective will.
life now and forever in the palm of his hands.

we are born of the light that has entered the world.
and we must become less to amplify that blaze.

worship in the spirit of truth.
eternal and all knowing.

you have the power of the world.
to heal and revive.

can you see the kingdom?
.

my banker hugged me

.
day before thanksgiving, bank was busy-busy-busy. stopped in to sign some papers for work. long lines. phones ringing. cranky customers. busy-busy-busy.

error on the paperwork… need to wait some more. long lines. phone ringing. busy-busy-busy.

bank manager turns to the loan rep: did you ever notice that mr. gillespie never seems frazzled, always calm, always smiling.

turning to me she asks, how do you manage that?

i looked up and told the truth: i just trust in the lord.

in an instant, the phones stopped. the lines melted away. the busy-busy simply vanished. and she threw her arms around me and whispered: me too.

and today i wonder… how many others are out there… busy-busy-busy… just waiting for someone to come in and mention his name… to say it is okay to express your faith… to declare your love… to live out the peace… even in the midst of the busy-busy-busy.

.

the jesus kinda love

My little daughter is dying. Please come put your hands on her so that she will be healed and live. MK5:23

It was the end of a long day. Jesus had crossed the lake twice, driven out demons, amazed the people. Now a crowd pushed against him. And a man breaks through to plead “My little daughter is dying.”

What crossed His mind first? Perhaps he saw an opportunity to raise his own status with Jairus, a synagogue leader. Unlikely. Perhaps he saw the humility, courage and faith Jairus exhibited by falling at his feet. Possible. Maybe he just closed his eyes and saw the girl… a 12-year old shivering on a small bed… helpless… afraid… dying.,, alone… and knew that worldly love alone would not be enough to save her.

So he went.

There were no ambulances. There was no mad-dash-out-of-my-way scramble. Even in this life-or-death time of urgency, the Lord never lost awareness of those in his view. He could take on a mission to save a dying girl and still find time to love along the way.

A woman had been bleeding for twelve years—the lifespan of the girl who lay dying—so surely she could wait an hour… a day… a week… This little girl grasping onto the thread of life must take priority. But no. The Lord stops. “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”

Be free from you suffering. Jesus looked into her heart and could see it was not selfishness that drove her to his feet, but rather hope and faith. Her shackles—which some would say paled in comparison to the ordeal faced by the young girl—created the same sense of helplessness. Loneliness. Fear. And Jesus loved. He stopped in the middle of loving, to love.

Arriving “too late” at the home of Jairus, he went to where the child was, took her hand and said, “Little girl, I say to you, get up!” And she did. Then Jesus turned to her parents, and told them to give her something to eat.

Yes, I think earlier back on the road, tired, crowded and overwhelmed, Jesus’ first thought was about the girl. And who else he could love on the way. It certainly wasn’t about himself.

my two hands

A man invited me to stick my hands into the pile of ashes before me. Run my fingers through the dust and charred remnants. Rub my hands together, feeling the grit and grime.

And then I sat to ponder the connection between the ashes that covered my two hands and the sins that covered my life. This is what I looked like through the lens of holiness. Through the eyes of a perfect guide. Dirty. Discolored. Disfigured.

Here’s what came to mind as I contemplated the condition of my hands. One: this was not the way my hands were supposed to look. Underneath these ashes and burnt scraps was the real me. Hidden from the light, from the truth. Second: I did not want to come into contact with anything white or pure or clean, because any contact would instantly blemish its beauty. Third: wanting the ashes to go away—no matter how much effort or pressure I applied—was not enough. No matter how much I rubbed my hands and fingers together, I could not clean myself. Could not.

And then I confessed my sins. Sins of gluttony, pride and neglect.

And I was cleaned. Purified. Refreshed.

Just as I was in the beginning.

will I persevere?

You pray, pray, pray, pray… and nothing happens. Sound familiar?

So what happens? The despair, pressures and uncertainty of life remain. And then this sinking feeling sets in when you realize that the lack of response from God the Father only brings more despair, increased pressure and greater uncertainty.

A friend of mine has been dealing with life’s circumstances for some time now. And despite prayer, he seems to grow more weary every week. (You can pray for him here.)

So this morning I was wondering… is this what perseverance looks like? If so, am I personally ready for such a test?

At a men’s group on Monday, Kris shared a passage from 2 Peter:

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.

We talked about the process of becoming more Christ-like, and the steps and work involved getting there. If you’re a regular reader here, you’ll know that I’ve been dealing with issues of self-control for some time on a number of fronts—and have increasingly become more confident in the power I have with Christ in this regard.

So this morning I shuddered a bit. Because the next item on the list is perseverance.

And as I think about the friend mentioned above… the one who seemingly deals with despair, pressures and uncertainty without God jumping in to change life’s circumstances … I see him not only as a friend in need of prayer… I see him as a role model for the path I have yet to reach.

#6 - return of the king

#6 on my list of all-time favorite movies is Return of the King, the closing chapter of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.

This morning I was thinking of the scene where Pippin (one of the Hobbits) pledges an oath to Denethor, the man who is ruling over the city Minas Tirith in the absence of a true king. Here's the exchange:

DENETHOR: Perhaps you have come to tell me why my son is dead.

PIPPIN: Boromir died to save us my kinsman and me. He fell defending us from many foes. I offer you my service, such as it is in payment of this debt.


Later on, Pippin takes a more formal oath of service:

PIPPIN: Here do I swear fealty and service to Gondor, and to the Lord and Steward of the realm, to speak and to be silent, to do and to let be, to come and to go, in need or plenty, in peace or war, in living or dying, from this hour henceforth, until my lord release me, or death take me, or the world end. So say I, Peregrin son of Paladin of the Shire of the Halflings.


So I was thinking… people take oaths to “stewards” all of the time… we take oaths to our jobs, our banks, our dreams of worldly possessions… we take oaths to stewards who are merely trying to take the place of a true king.

So this morning, I knelt in prayer, and took an oath to the one true is king.

God. Your son Jesus died to save us, my kinsmen and me. I offer you my service in payment of this debt.

I swear fealty and service to the Lord my God, the creator of the Universe, the Father, Son and Spirit, to speak and to be silent, to do and to let be, to come and to go, in need or plenty, in peace or war, in living or dying, from this hour henceforth, until the Lord release me. So say I, Ed Gillespie, son of Raymond of New York.

sunday triumph

Candice greeted me when I reached her.

“Do you want a blessing or a prayer” she inquired.

“A prayer,” I replied. “I have two good friends who are fathers. One is a Christian, the other is not. They are each facing challenges with their sons. They are worried about the well being of their sons – and whether they as fathers are doing everything they can.”

So Candy prayed. She prayed for wisdom and strength and peace and blessings.

And then I returned to my seat. And a short while later I closed my eyes. I saw Jesus. And he was holding the hands of my two friends, these two fathers. And then he lifted their arms high into the air… the same way a referee lifts the hands of a boxer who has just won a fight. He rose their hands in triumph, in victory.

And then these to fathers were joined by their sons. And they lifted their hands in victory. In triumph. Everyone was smiling. Fathers, sons and Jesus.

And I wept with joy.

are we there yet?

This Ingrid Michaelson song seems like an appropriate way to start the holiday season.

Especially in light of an email I received this week from a dear friend who was attending the funural of a family member who did not know God. He wrote: "I can't smile at someone and say 'I know he is in heaven right now.' I just don't believe that."

I know so many people who are far from God. People I love. There's this gift just waiting for them -- already wrapped and addressed to their name. They just need to open it. And enter the home that has been prepared for them.

Michaelson sings:

They say there's linings made of silver
Folded inside each raining cloud
Well, we need someone to deliver
Our silver lining now

And are we there yet?
Home, home, home
Home, home, home

Our father has already delivered that silver lining. Oh, how I long for the people I love to find their way home this month.

5 days with james: tuesday

Picking up on this series from a few months ago, the question for today is: how can you tell if you are alive in Christ?

In the book of Romans, the apostle Paul writes:

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.

I remember an afternoon in NYC about 30 years ago. A young man approached me on the street and asked “Do you want to be saved?”

So we talked. And I confessed with my mouth that Jesus was Lord. And believed that God raised him from the dead. And was told that I was saved.

But these were all things I had already known… things taught to me by the nuns who taught grammar school… by the Jesuits who reveled in deep theological conversations in high school. Truth is, that afternoon was just another afternoon… more about an interesting encounter with a fellow New Yorker than with the almighty creator of the universe. I confessed and believed… but saved? Hmmmm….

That encounter from years past came to mind as I meditated on what are perhaps the most discussed verses in the Book of James, 2:14-26, where James makes the case that faith—when not accompanied by action and good deeds—is dead.

If all it takes are your mouth and heart to be saved, why are works required to be alive in faith? How does the message from James relate to Romans TNT?

Perhaps faith is not a transaction, it’s a movement. Heart-felt belief cannot be measured once at a point in time… it’s more like the intensity of a light at the end of a well-travelled road… one that gets brighter or dimmer or simply stagnates depending on which way we are walking (or not) at any moment.

On Monday morning, my mind and heart were on Christ as I drove to work. A car was pulled over with its hood raised, so I stopped my car and offered to help. It wasn’t something I thought about… my car just pulled over to the side of the road by itself. There was no way possible that I could pass this stranded driver by while I believed in my heart that God raised his only son from the dead in order to save me. No. way. possible.

But alas, there are many mornings when I simply drive by such people in need. On those days, while I still may confess that Jesus is Lord and believe God raised him from the day… those words don’t consume my heart. And that’s where the difference lies. In the condition of my heart.

Deeds are the measuring stick of the heart.

How frequently does my heart stop beating for Christ? Too often. For while you can have good works without Christ, you cannot have Christ without works. The heart will simply not allow it. And too often, I am simply driving by. Dead when I should be alive.

brother, where art thou?

History has no shortage of famous brothers.

Cain and Able. John, Bobby and Ted Kennedy. Jesse and Frank James. Joel and Ethan Coen. Orville and Wilbur Wright. The Marx Brothers. The Ringling Brothers. The list goes on and on.

Still, it only just occurred to me that the first disciples of Christ were brothers: Simon and Andrew.

Of course, Simon becomes Peter—the rock on which Jesus builds the church. So maybe Andrew just gets lost in the shuffle. Like Tommie Aaron, who shares in the major league record for most home runs ever hit by brothers (768).

But after Peter and Andrew… the next two called by Christ were also brothers: James and John.

And as you read through the Gospels, it becomes clear that Peter, Andrew, James and John were key guys – the inner ring of a small, select group of followers. These brothers climbed the mountain and witnessed the transfiguration, tussled for attention, prayed in Gethsemane and followed Christ through the trials all the way to his death on the cross… then ran to the tomb three days later.

Perhaps it is no coincidence that those called upon to follow Christ and spread the good news were brothers. We know for sure that there were times of doubt, fear and disbelief for these men. There were moments when they wanted to turn their back on God. When persecution and ridicule ran high. When it simply was too tough to believe. And even more difficult to walk in his footsteps.

And yet, they persevered.

Who else but a brother could convince you trust your heart?

Who else but a brother could reassure you in times of darkness?

Who else but a brother could kick you in the ass – and set you straight?

You see, Peter, Andrews, James and John shared a life before Christ. They shared experiences. Perspectives. Through their words, they could validate, strengthen and challenge each other like no other.

Some days I wonder, how much more could I do for Christ if my two brothers walked beside me. Could they reassure me, provide the strength and the nudges (and kicks) I so desperately need to be the man I know I could be? In my moments of doubt, fear and disbelief, could they grab me by the shoulder and whisper in my ear: Brother, we have grown up together... fruit of the same womb... be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be a man of courage; be strong. Do everything in love.

I don’t know.

For unlike Peter, Andrew, James and John… I walk without my brothers.

But I do not walk alone. There’s TK, Stephen, Francisco, Dave, Mike, Kris, Dan, Kevin, Bill, Scott, Norbert, Derek, Perry, Rich. Bob and Byron, to name a few. These are my brothers. We can be honest, and brutal, and forgiving, and a pain in the ass when necessary. We look out for one another. Brothers, for sure.

But… perhaps… not entirely the same.

borrowed words

from nancy's blog...

i sometimes know
i do not know
and sometimes see
i do not see
so constantly
i must be led
every moment
to be shown
what to do
where to go
my need is great
for Him alone
and in seeking
i am known

5 days with james: thursday

Some of my friends are turned off from God because of what they see as a self-righteous, holier-than-thou attitude among church goers.

The Book of James provides some words that make you think. One the one hand:

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

In simplest terms, James 1:27 tells us to love God and love your neighbor. Spiritually, you should focus on your own life, your own heart. And with your hands and feet, help those who need your assistance. There is no judgment, no condemnation, no preaching. Just love. Sounds simple.

But James ends on a slightly different tone:

My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.

Here in 5:19-20, the Word seems to be promoting the idea of direct intervention—confrontation when one strays from the path, if you will. Here, victory comes when we turn someone around and steer them toward repentance.

If nothing else, the Book of James reminds me that building an argument for anything around one-off Bible verses is probably note ideal – we need to look at the broader context of the gospels and epistles. Good thing I committed to writing five posts on James… will give me something to think about for the next two.

thirsty

This past weekend, a man drove down to a trail in town that is popular with bikers, joggers and dog walkers. He set up a table at a juncture—a spot where many start, end or turn around. On the table sat a pitcher of lemonade, some bottled water and a sign that read “FREE—cold drinks”.

Some people asked what cause he represented, or what he was selling (‘there’s always an agenda’). Others walked by the table, intent on never looking over—because eye contact was dangerous.

But most people smiled and thanked this man. In fact, many were overwhelmed by what was truly the most simplest acts of kindness. Others stopped to chat… their day suddenly changed for the better. One jogger remarked how cold the world had been feeling to him. Another woman, who returned from a six mile run, said ‘I was so hoping you would still be here when I got back’.

After two hours, the man packed up his table, the cooler and his sign and took inventory. He had served a total of five drinks: two lemonades and three bottles of water.

And yet he came away knowing that many more drank that day… for what he came to learn was that people are not thirsty for water or lemonade… they thirst for kindness. They thirst for love.

How indifferent have we become to our brothers and sisters? How often do we go through days with blinders on, focused only on the next destination? How cold has the world become, that such a simple gesture—a glass of water—can mean so much? How have we allowed so many people in our community get so thirsty?

me and teh gay

I visited a church on Long Island last month. The service was most enjoyable, but when the pastor went into a rant condemning the sin that is homosexuality, I found myself distracted. Disturbed by both the tone and content of his sermon.

I wrote down the scriptures he quoted, and promised myself that I would look them up later. As an evangelical Christian who believes in gay marriage, gay love and gay life, I find myself often scribbling down scripture verses for further study.

Things were much simpler in my early life. We attended the church of the holy convenience, where truthiness ruled and my moral compass could be aligned according to the most prevalent winds. While I certainly knew gay people, it was not a topic of discussion. The only times I used the word gay was in making off-hand insults to one of my brothers or close friends. (Being called gay, you see, was not exactly a compliment.) Actual gay people? Well, what they did was their business.

That changed about a decade ago when I came to know Jesus. To find out that the creator of the universe loved me and wanted to have a personal relationship with me, well that changed everything. I wanted to know everything I could about God. Sunday services was not enough… I needed mid-week services and Bible service.

And one of the things I picked up handing around church people was that being gay was a sin. A gay person could certainly come to church, but they could never serve in a leadership position. And I guess that point of view sunk in. For a while there, I came to believe that being gay—while no worse than being a gossip—was something of which God did not approve. Civil unions, that was okay. But marriage? No way.

Then something happened.

Are you ready? I actually got to know some gay people.

On Facebook. Interacting on blogs. And yes, in real life too. And we would talk about life, and movies, and politics, and families, and work. Over the course of a few years, two things became abundantly clear.

One, the Christian-led opposition to gay marriage caused tremendous hurt and pain. It led to confusion, and in many cases, drove people away from God. Christians spending incredible amounts of resources to drive people away from God.

Two, for gay men and women who were in long-term, monogamous relationships, the love between these two people was as real and warm and magical and blessed as any other relationship I have witnessed. From the spats and hugs to the tears and morning coffees, gay love was simply love.

Over time it became evident that opposition to gay marriage was anything but Christ-like. So where was the disconnect?

The pastor in Long Island who condemned the gay quoted Romans 1: 27-27.

26Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. 27In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

Now I don’t recall ever thinking that the love I have for my wife could adequately be described as “inflamed with lust”. And the gay men and women I know have never used that term either. So I can only wonder… is Paul not condemning the fact of being gay… but rather a specific type of behavior? Is he talking about reckless sex and lust without love?

(I could also mention that Romans 1 is followed by a discourse on why no one should judge anyone else, but I digress.)

You could have similar debates regarding word choice and meaning with most of the other scripture verses used to blanketly vilify gay men and women, such as 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, 1 Timothy 1:9-10 and Jude 1:7.

Leviticus is another story. Lev 20:13 reads: If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

I will not venture to wordsmith this passage, but will make two quick remarks. The people I know who swear by the first half of this verse do not believe in the second half. More importantly—and I don’t mean to use this as a Christian crutch—but Jesus changed everything. His life. His death. His resurrection. Everything changed.

So here’s where I am. Is being gay a sin?

Jesus spent a lot of time with both religious leaders and the “non-church crowd”, and he had nothing to say on the topic. But what he did was promise that he would send a Counselor… and that if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved – and when you are saved, the law will be placed on your heart.

The law is on my heart. When I wake up in the morning, I have a clear understanding of what I should do—and not do—to both share and proclaim the love I have for God. And yes, God finds ways to ‘raise the bar’ on these expectations over time.

So today, I implore my Christian brothers and sisters to stop wasting their breath discussing what is right and wrong with others and simply focus all of the energy on helping people fall in love with Christ. Just help people fall in love with the one who loves them more than anything.

There is right. There is wrong. And I have complete confidence that anyone who walks toward Christ with love in their hearts will be able to discern right from wrong on their own. I invite you on this journey.

In the meantime, I just want to say thank you to the men and women who had the courage to share their lives and stories with me over the past few years--stories, i imagine, that were not always so easy to share.

muslim = terrorist

Given all the brouhaha about the Park 51 Project (aka Cordoba House, aka Ground Zero Mosque) – what we are really talking about is something quite simple. Many if not most Americans associate people of muslim faith with the terrorists who attacked this country on 9/11.

muslim = terrorist

Even in today’s “politically correct” world, more than four in ten Americans will readily admit that they are prejudiced against Muslims. One would image that others harbor such thoughts, but are not willing to admit that on a phone call survey.

muslim = terrorist

When American leaders such as Newt Gingrich equate a mosque to a swastika – the comparison could not be any clearer. He is sayting that the symbol of faith for 1.5 billion people is no different than the symbol associated with the most vicious, cold-blooded killers of the past century.

muslim = terrorist

People who lost friends and family in 9/11 must live with that loss every day. To me, it doesn’t matter whether or not it is “appropriate” if a mosque in lower Manhattan will bring back memories of 9/11… the fact is, for many it will. For many, 9/11 may be their only direct engagement with Muslims. While the association between muslims and terrorists may not be rational, no one can say that it is not real. The pain is always real.

muslim = terrorist

This week’s The Economist opined: It is impossible to be sensitive both to those who see the mosque as an affront and those who see opposition to it as proof of prejudice.

I choose not to be saddled by such limitations. Instead, I choose to be embolded by Donna Marsh O'Connor and the September Eleventh Families for Peaceful Tomorrows, a coalition of more than 250 families which recently endorsed the mosque.

"I can understand people saying that this is a slap. This does hurt. But we don't change fundamentally what our nation is about because it will hurt people,” O’Connor said. “We're a family who is forever changed, certainly forever scarred, but we're not the victims of 9/11. Our daughter was the victim of 9/11 and we don't want to see our nation fold.”

muslim = terrorist

Unfortunately, our nation has a history of folding time and time again… when you look at the American math over the years, you find periods where:

indians = savages
blacks = animals
jews = greedy filth
japanese = kamakazi killers

And yet… as we learn more about the people we so freely hate… we always come to find out that we were wrong. We are always wrong. But eventually, we figure that out. And so too we will again.

.