Tuesday, August 25, 2009

heart lovin’ – part four

Love the Lord your God with all your heart.

Quick question: Did the angels cry more on Friday or Sunday?

Which events tugged deeper at their hearts… the forty lashes and crown of thorns, the three painful falls, the crucifixion, the spear in the side, darkness, loneliness, despair. Or was it the empty tomb, the resurrection, the victorious morning, the fulfillment, hope and glory?

Did the angels cry more on Friday or Sunday?

Sometimes I pray for God to open the eyes of my heart. To enable me to see as the Lord sees. But I confess that these have been half-hearted prayers. Here’s the truth: the idea of seeing as the Lord sees terrifies me.

Every day our Father in heaven looks down and sees his children hungry, in despair. He sees brother stealing from brother. Sister taking a knife in rage and thrusting it into sister. With his God-sized heart he sees and feels every moment of hurt and heartache. His own children, his creation, inflicting so much pain and suffering on one another. With his eyes so open, how can God even bear to see what he sees in his heart… every moment of every day. And why would I want to see that way… do I really want to open the eyes of my heart? I tremble just thinking about it.

As noted in prior post, I am not really a “feelings” person. But I do often find myself tearing up at movies, dare I say ‘crying’. Interestingly, it’s never the sad moments. When the friends of George Bailey give all they have, when August Rush’s mom and dad see each other from across the park, when Gale Sayers professes his love for Brian Picollo…

Sitting before my creator this morning, it became clear that opening the eyes of my heart would allow me to see more than the despair and darkness I try so desperately to avoid. One could also see love, hope, wonder, appreciation, unexpected joy, peace, satisfaction, amazement and so much more – in ways never before imagined.

When I think about the shape the world is in these days, I see a lot of Fridays. But today I’m thinking that there are far more Sundays out there. And these events are much more impactful. They reach deeper into the heart. And they can easily wash away and overshadow any pain you can ever witness.

Without a doubt, the angels cried more on Sunday. How could they not?

So I’ll pray today with confidence – and not a glint of terror – Lord, open the eyes of my heart.

1 comment:

wilsonian said...

That's a brave prayer, my friend.
Praying courage for you...
Peace :)