Tuesday, March 25, 2008

wishing i was a fool

We stand before the world as fools. We are foolish enough to believe that Jesus' way is stronger and truer than the way of the world. We rest secure in the knowledge that he has, and will, overcome. We are called to be fools for Christ, a people saved by his cross and converted, finally, by his resurrection.
The Call to Conversion
Jim Wallace
I find myself at a crossroads today. I am being called to take the next step in my walk with Christ. And to be honest, I have no idea what that step entails. No idea at all.

But I do know that it will be bigger than any step I’ve taken before. It will stretch me well out of my comfort zone. It will involve noticeable change.

And while I like to think of myself as the kind of person who would raise his hand eagerly, crying “pick me, Lord, pick me”. The truth is I am distancing myself. Keeping myself busy. Avoiding the next conversation at all costs. Hiding under a rock. Silently backing away.

I may be absent from the blogosphere for a while. It's not that I don't have things to write about... but I fear that it will only be another distraction. A place to come to avoid the bigger question that haunts me now...

What am I so afraid of?

8 comments:

wilsonian said...

l'll be here praying, waiting beside you.

NaNcY said...

it is ok.

just talk to God about it. He will take you where you need to go when He knows you are ready. and it will be more than ok...it will be with Him.

just relax and let the water flow over your head...let your heart feel His presence. You are His.

trace said...

ok, now we definately need to have coffee. for it seems that you and I have the same behavior patterns...send a buzz my way

Kansas Bob said...

Life is all about crossroads - they are designed to drive us to God. I am believing He will be magnified in you crossroad. Mark 8:34 will usually help with crossroads.

NaNcY said...

my daughter got a necklace in new zealand. she is 11 and she thought it cool to have a mood necklace. different colours are to tell her mood. well, actually, the colour changes because the stuff inside the little dangle gets hot or cold or warm. part of her believed still about the mood thing. there was a list of colours on the little cardboard that told the different moods for different colours. well, she has found out and now knows that it is actually radical temperature change. but, arn't we all kind of like cj? really we are changing inside and are looking for ways to see those changes. sometimes we change a lot and do not notice it for a time. God can be doing a big work in us and our little dangle doesn't change colour to let us know. change and growth is happening all along, and some days we notice it and some days we are clueless. the truth is though, we can trust in God, and God will give us courage and strength, even when we are scared and shaking in our boots, to go through what ever is ahead of us, just keep faith in your God and rest in Him.

NaNcY said...

i think everyone is afraid. and you are not alone when it comes to having big questions.

i will pray for you, because God knows what you are going through and i do not.

well, for my own good and your peace, i will stop leaving comments here. but, i will pray for you when you come to mind.

Godbwye

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