cross the road

the kingdom is near

2012-01-10T06:51:00.000-05:00

just open your eyes
listen for his voice
walk through the gate
and you will be saved

live without fear
for jesus is the resurection
put your trust in the light
and you will be honored
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the top ten

2011-12-22T23:58:00.002-05:00

When was the last time you thought about the ten commandments? I mean really thought about them?

Personally, I am not sure if I ever really invested a lot of time thinking about it. After all, it was not like I was out killing anyone. When you think about it though, this is our Lord's top ten list. Written in stone. He never issued any ammendments. This is it.

Over each of the past ten weeks, I have spent some time meditating and praying over the ten commandments... how each commandment applies to me, where I have fallen short, where I need God at work in my life.

If you have some time, you may want to take a similar journey. Until then, here's where I ended up...

1. You’re the one.
2. Don’t make ‘em jealous.
3. I swear…
4. Take five. That’s an order.
5. Luv your mum and pa.
6. Ahh, yer killin’ me!
7. Shhhh…. we’re talking adultery.
8. Don’t touch my stuff!
9. Liar, liar pants on fire.
10. That covet thing.

Peace to you, EG
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animal farm circa 2011

2011-12-14T20:57:00.000-05:00

My daughter was writing an essay on Animal Farm, George Orwell’s 1945 classic.

While I have probably not read this book in over 30 years, I did recall the last line, which probably ranks among the top-ending lines of all time: "The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which."

While this allegory applied to Russia and Marxism, I could not help but think how this scenario is playing out in America in 2011.

Last year, we saw a grassroots movement rise from the right—the Tea Party—against an overreaching, bloated federal government. This year, a similar grassroots movement rose from the left—Occupy Wall Street—protesting the greed and selfish principles of big-money corporations.

Yet in an era where Congressional seats are almost always won by the person who has the most money, there is a fine line between Washington bureaucrats and corporate CEOs. An average senate campaigns costs $4.3 million – with some costing ten times as much or more – and the vast majority of these funds are sourced in response to business agenda. Citizen’s United gives companies the right to make strategic business investments in the votes of congressmen. And lest we forget that many if not most of those we send to Congress are one-percenters themselves.

Perhaps if Orwell wrote his book today, the ending would read: “The Tea Partiers and Occupiers looked from government to corporation, and from corporation to government, and from government to corporation again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”

kingdom seeking

2011-12-10T09:45:00.000-05:00

restore to community.
do you have love in your heart?
rise to love. rise to live.

you can go beyond the possible.
instead of waiting for miracles,
simply see. say. feel. do.

not on your time, on his
those streams of living water within you...
let them flow. let them flow.

when you hear the truth, tell the world.
free yourself. free the world.
do you hear? can you hear?
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can you see the kingdom?

2011-11-29T22:07:00.000-05:00

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the kingdom of god is unrecognized… unaccepted.
yet it recognizes and accepts you.

it is visible only to those who trust in the lord. so…
the responsibility to share this view is bestowed unto thee.

john saw the truth and told andrew, who then found his brother.
it was the very first thing that he did.

some will follow. others will question.
our job is to be fearless about spreading the love.

for the vision of the kingdom is the range of god’s effective will.
life now and forever in the palm of his hands.

we are born of the light that has entered the world.
and we must become less to amplify that blaze.

worship in the spirit of truth.
eternal and all knowing.

you have the power of the world.
to heal and revive.

can you see the kingdom?
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my banker hugged me

2011-11-24T21:37:00.000-05:00

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day before thanksgiving, bank was busy-busy-busy. stopped in to sign some papers for work. long lines. phones ringing. cranky customers. busy-busy-busy.

error on the paperwork… need to wait some more. long lines. phone ringing. busy-busy-busy.

bank manager turns to the loan rep: did you ever notice that mr. gillespie never seems frazzled, always calm, always smiling.

turning to me she asks, how do you manage that?

i looked up and told the truth: i just trust in the lord.

in an instant, the phones stopped. the lines melted away. the busy-busy simply vanished. and she threw her arms around me and whispered: me too.

and today i wonder… how many others are out there… busy-busy-busy… just waiting for someone to come in and mention his name… to say it is okay to express your faith… to declare your love… to live out the peace… even in the midst of the busy-busy-busy.

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the change list

2011-11-21T20:28:00.000-05:00

Today’s exercise: reflect on the things you would like to see changed about yourself. (To which Chief Brody replied, “You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”) Anyways….

1. UNDERSTANDING
I get defensive when someone questions or critiques me. Jesus, on the other hand, sought out questioning. He approached those he knew would critique and went to places where he knew his authority would be questioned. Why do I get so defensive?

In doing so, I miss out on opportunities to gain new understanding, to improve myself, and to enlighten others on new possibilities. I close the door on conversations and the chance to build relationships.

Lord, make it clear in my heart that it’s not about me. Free me from my need to control outcomes and have the last say. Open my heart to criticism. Let me seek joy only in your pleasure.

2. FEELINGS
I can easily get caught up in whatever I am doing at the time, and fail to see and hear the cries for help around me. Jesus was observant and always in touch with his surroundings. Why is it that I can so easily shut off the world?

Instead of lifting others up, I pull them down by my appearance of disinterest. And then wonder when they are not there to listen for me.

O God, help me surrender to others. Open my eyes, me ears and my heart to the needs of others. Teach me to prioritize others before myself.

3. DECISIONS
I often do not think about God and the Kingdom when making decisions. For Jesus, every decision was an opportunity to glorify God. Why do I leave God out of the picture so often?

When I eventually come to my Lord, the truth stings—and whatever I gained by going my way, it cost more to return to the path that was intended for me.

At the crossroads of life, there is only one direction I need, Lord, and that is your will. I want you to be at the center of my life—for every moment of every day.

4. INPUT
I like to be entertained. TV. Movies. Books. I look for ways to escape. Jesus was comfortable with silence and solitude. He created time to be alone. For meditation. For prayer. Why do I need to constantly want to fill the vacuum with noise?

Entertainment cannot love, and so I go unloved. Entertainment cannot fulfill, and so I go unfulfilled. Alone when the TV goes on, alone when it goes off.

Jesus, teach me to live in the present, prioritize people, and rejoice in your peace. Help me become more disciplined—where I come before you in prayer, meditation and silence for the pure joy of basking in your presence.

5. CHARACTER
I am not always the same person in public as I am when I am alone. I have secrets. I live two lives. The life of the nice guy. The life of the self-gratifying jerk. Jesus was authentic. He was Jesus. Why can’t I be the me I want to be?

Shame. Disgrace. Anger. Fear. These are not how I would feel if I was being the true me.

Let the one true authentic me be the one and only me. Help me live in the light. Crush and destroy the sin and disobedience in my life.

Change me Lord. Change me from the inside out.

day gives way to night

2011-10-20T20:25:00.000-04:00

Sunsets are calm. Relaxing. The sun slowly, slowly, slowly sets. Falling below the horizon. Surrendering peacefully. Without a struggle.

Daybreak, however, is a battle. The night clings on, struggling to remain relevant. The first battles take place long before the sun actually rises. Some stars fall early, others hold on. The night does not want to leave. It fights.

But light is inevitable. The sun always triumphs.

remembering nonie: five years later

2011-10-11T06:37:00.000-04:00

Still working on that book TK gave me.

Today’s exercise: Think about someone you have known who exemplifies genuine purity and humility, selflessness, freedom from rage and depression.

Honestly, there could not have been a better description of my grandmother, Nonie. It’s hard to believe that she’s been gone from us for five years.

Even as children, my cousins and I recognized that Nonie was not like other people. She didn’t yell. She did not boast. She never judged. While she was a Christian, she never felt it was her calling to preach religion – instead she lived the Gospel. She glorified God by loving. Loving. And loving.

Usually such folks have none of the Christian “celebrity” trappings about them. They are often overlooked.

Five years ago this week, I made my last visit to Nonie’s one-bedroom apartment in Yonkers. We were going through her stuff, the treasures accumulated over 96 years. There was no will. No savings account. No degrees hanging on the wall. There was no gold or silver, not even a rare coin. No car parked outside.

Her apartment smelled of memories. Photos. $5 keepsakes (or nooks, as we call them). Letters from friends and family members who lived an ocean away. Notes of appreciation. Certificates of recognition from the local soup kitchen, the senior center and other charitable organizations where she volunteered selflessly long into her life.

Looking back, I think it’s amazing that she left her family when she was 16, travelled alone to a distant land, and didn’t make it “home” until 40 years later; and yet – as I had the joy of visiting Ireland once with her – she was as close to her sisters, brothers, nieces and nephews as someone who lived down the block her entire life. For when she could not visit, she called. When she could not call, she wrote. And when she could not write, she prayed. Community. Relationships. People. Family. Friends. God. These are the investments my grandmother treasured.

They are not living on the same terms as the general culture, and so others might find this confusing.

Living for nearly century, Nonie witnessed the birth of flight, cars that rolled off assembly lines, innovations in radio, television and yes, even the iMac and the Internet. (Television, by the way, was the invention she felt most changed the world in her lifetime).

She also witnessed war on a world-wide scale (more than once) and watched as they buried her parents, her brother and sisters, her life-long love Joseph and her children Robert, Mary and Jimmy.

She laughed. She cried. She took joy in winning at cards (and losing, too). She woke up one day and decided to stop smoking—and never had another cigarette. She was a woman of incredible strength. And character. And consistency. In some ways, Nonie was predictable because she was Nonie all the time.

Growing up, I can’t say that I modeled my life after Nonie. There were degrees to get. Jobs to succeed in. Stuff to accumulate. Why would I want to love others when I could live for myself?

But it’s not too late. There is someone I can call today. I can stop to help a stranger. Right a wrong. Hold my judgment. Smile. And smile again. For what better day to honor my grandmother than to imitate her – the one who exemplifies genuine purity and humility, selflessness, freedom from rage and depression.

Five years later Nonie, and you are still changing the world. God bless.

note to whole self

2011-09-26T07:21:00.000-04:00

why do you worry, o my soul?
the master will do his work.

already, he is moving in you
driving that first step forward.

why are you anxious, o my heart?
the lord is shaping you, even at night.

already, you are becoming
the same person all of the time.

why do you despair, my flesh and bones?
when you fall, simply get up.

rejoice, for your trainor is the
cleansor, the provider of freedom.

he will make you invincible.

Cross posted at Daily Prayer.

the jesus kinda love

2011-09-24T13:56:00.000-04:00

My little daughter is dying. Please come put your hands on her so that she will be healed and live. MK5:23

It was the end of a long day. Jesus had crossed the lake twice, driven out demons, amazed the people. Now a crowd pushed against him. And a man breaks through to plead “My little daughter is dying.”

What crossed His mind first? Perhaps he saw an opportunity to raise his own status with Jairus, a synagogue leader. Unlikely. Perhaps he saw the humility, courage and faith Jairus exhibited by falling at his feet. Possible. Maybe he just closed his eyes and saw the girl… a 12-year old shivering on a small bed… helpless… afraid… dying.,, alone… and knew that worldly love alone would not be enough to save her.

So he went.

There were no ambulances. There was no mad-dash-out-of-my-way scramble. Even in this life-or-death time of urgency, the Lord never lost awareness of those in his view. He could take on a mission to save a dying girl and still find time to love along the way.

A woman had been bleeding for twelve years—the lifespan of the girl who lay dying—so surely she could wait an hour… a day… a week… This little girl grasping onto the thread of life must take priority. But no. The Lord stops. “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”

Be free from you suffering. Jesus looked into her heart and could see it was not selfishness that drove her to his feet, but rather hope and faith. Her shackles—which some would say paled in comparison to the ordeal faced by the young girl—created the same sense of helplessness. Loneliness. Fear. And Jesus loved. He stopped in the middle of loving, to love.

Arriving “too late” at the home of Jairus, he went to where the child was, took her hand and said, “Little girl, I say to you, get up!” And she did. Then Jesus turned to her parents, and told them to give her something to eat.

Yes, I think earlier back on the road, tired, crowded and overwhelmed, Jesus’ first thought was about the girl. And who else he could love on the way. It certainly wasn’t about himself.

there's no i in god

2011-09-18T17:59:00.001-04:00

You wake up one day and the idea that you are overweight, out of shape and off-track gnaws at you so much you need to act. So I tell my friend TK that I need his help. Can’t do this alone.

So TK gives me a book. Renovation of the Heart in Daily Practice, by Dallas Willard and Jan Johnson. Typical TK – he knows me well enough to know that the only way to change my outer physical shape is to start within… by changing my heart.

Each chapter is only two-three pages, but it takes me a few days to let a chapter sink in. So I think about what it means to linger on the beauty of God and God’s Kingdom. Asking God to show me the small steps in my life that will quietly and certainly lead to inner transformation. And whether I can rely on the love and divine grace of Jesus Christ to transform me into the man I was mean to be.

Here’s the big take away from week one: in the past, whenever I would spend time thinking about my relationship with Christ, I spend most of the time thinking about me.

What prayers can I put before God?
How did I fall short of His will?
Where did I need God’s help?
When was I obedient, when was I not?
What does God have to say to me? Can I hear Him today?

So this week I am trying to shift the focus, not worry about me, and simply enjoy the awesomeness of God. Or what Willard and Johnson call “dwelling on the beauty of God and the Kingdom life.”

9/11 thanksgiving

2011-09-09T21:28:00.000-04:00

crossposted at Daily Prayer
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It is done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. To the thirsty I will give water without cost from the spring of the water of life. Those who are victorious will inherit all this, and I will be their God and they will be my children. Rev 21: 6-7

On September 11, 2011 more than 47,000 people were safely evacuated from two burning towers. It probably ranks as one of the greatest rescue operations in the history of the world.

Yet salvation comes at a cost. On that day, 403 firefighters, police officers and paramedics sacrificed their lives.

A few millennia earlier, one man gave his life to save a people. And when he breathed his last, he looked to heaven and declared, “It is finished.”

Tonight’s prayer is one of thanks, for the victories of 9/11. And the life everlasting these heroes now enjoy.
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the good samaritan

2011-09-04T23:04:00.000-04:00

I spent a few hours down at the rail trail this afternoon, handing out water and lemonade to the joggers, walkers and bike riders.

So I am talking to one guy in a red t-shirt, and he says "you're a good Samaritan."

And as he left, I wondered. This man was comfortable making a NT reference, but to him, seeing a simple act of kindness brought to mind a Samaritan and not a follower of Jesus. Could you imagine a person in a similar situation saying "you're a good Christian"?

About five minutes later, another man makes the same comment, "You're a good Samaritan."

So when I get home tonight I do a little reading. I was surprised to find out that Samaritans believed in God and the Torah. They considered themselves Jews, though they were detested by the "mainstream" Jews. (One writer compares this to the rift between Catholics and Protestants in Northern Ireland.) In the parable of the Good Samaritan, Jesus tells the tale of one man who rises above this bigotry to help a man in need -- exemplifying God's call to love your neighbor as yourself.

Today, the term "good Samaritan" is used as a common metaphor and applies to any charitable person, especially one who, like the man in the parable, rescues or helps out a needy stranger. My guess is that it represents a term acceptable in a secular society, where as any reference to God or Christ may be off-putting.

So while these guys weren't giving Christ any credit for me being out on the rail trail today, the fact that my presence led a few people to reflect on Jesus' words made me feel good.

But when a third guy came by and asked "Who can I thank?" I decided to clarify the situation.

"God," I replied. "You can thank God."

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unstoppable

2011-08-27T20:28:00.000-04:00

After a highly-scheduled week, which included after work plans every evening, I plopped down in front of the wide-screen last night to see what HBO had to offer and was pleased to see Unstoppable coming on.

It's funny that I've never considered Denzel Washington to be a great actor--I find a lot of his characters are too similar--but I almost always love his movies. So I hit the play button and sat back for a welcome night in.

Good flick for cable or even a rental, not much character development but a dramatic story line. Rosario Dawson excellent in a supporting role.

Anyway, about half way through the film, my two oldest children come home along with a few carloads of friends and ask if they can take over the family room.

I declined to move. Partly because I was quite comfortable. Partly because this was the first time I had sat down this week. Partly because my kids and their friends have taken over my TV at least a few nights every week this summer. So yes, I declined to move.

In hindsight, there was nothing wrong with this decision. My kids accepted my decision without a second thought. And I enjoyed the second half of the movie in hi-def (and in peace).

When I woke up this morning, however, the first thought that popped into my head was that I wish I had said yes. Instead of being the guy who did was what was reasonable and expected, I could have said yes to love.

Love should be unstoppable.

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Luke 19 redux

2011-08-23T07:56:00.003-04:00

Reading the same passage of scripture several times over the course of a few days or weeks is a new discipline for me, but one I recommend--for you never know how that second or third reading will differ from the first.

Take Luke 19: 11-26, the “Parable of the Ten Minas.” First time through, came away with the message that was taught to me when I was young: God has given you talents and if you use them for God’s purpose, you will receive even more gifts or abilities.

But is that what this parable is really about? Here are a few excerpts that stood out on a subsequent reading:

12 He said: “A man of noble birth went to a distant country to have himself appointed king and then to return.

14 “But his subjects hated him and sent a delegation after him to say, ‘We don’t want this man to be our king.’

And later on…

22 “His master replied, ‘I will judge you by your own words, you wicked servant! You knew, did you, that I am a hard man, taking out what I did not put in, and reaping what I did not sow?

26 “He replied, ‘I tell you that to everyone who has, more will be given, but as for the one who has nothing, even what they have will be taken away. 27 But those enemies of mine who did not want me to be king over them—bring them here and kill them in front of me.’”

Am I truly to believe that the Master in this parable is God the Father, or Jesus himself?

Reading through a third time, I am drawn to the first line of this parable:

11 While they were listening to this, he went on to tell them a parable...

And what were they listening to exactly? Jesus was explaining his mission on earth.

10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.

And who is lost in the parable of the ten minas? Perhaps the delegation that protests the appointment of a selfish, ruthless man as king—only to find themselves put to death. Perhaps the servant, who is so fearful of this powerful man, that he is afraid to act on the minas entrusted to him?

Perhaps I need to read this one again…

don't look at me...

2011-08-22T13:38:00.001-04:00

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.”

If I did not have the responsibility of being a father or a husband, I could easily sell my possessions and give it all to the poor—storing up treasures in heaven instead.

Yes, that thought popped into my head yesterday.

(And not for the first time.)

In this warped sense of reality that is my brain, you see, I can convince myself that my need to live in a nice neighborhood, save for retirement, go on vacation, etc. is driven solely by my love of family. If it wasn’t for them, I could rid myself of worldly possessions and live the simple life God intended.

But you know better, Lord, don’t you.

the river

2011-08-21T13:08:00.007-04:00

People I know often refer to life as a journey. Some days the road is paved, other times you must navigate through pot holes, or debris left by others before you.

You can go weeks or months travelling a path that is clear and well defined, only to wake up one day finding yourself off the beaten path, unsure in which direction you were headed. We come to forks in the road, or even dead ends. We walk in pairs, groups, crowds… but often alone. Sometimes we stop moving all together.

Recently, my path came to a river.

Looking up, I could see that the path continued on the other side. While we were not talking about a Mississippi-sized waterway, it was daunting none the less. The current moved rapidly downstream toward a place beyond my vision.

Turning back was an option, though in the moment I could not recall exactly how I had gotten to this place. The path that lay across the bank was the natural progression—but only if I could transverse the raging river that flowed with such force and purpose.

How many times in life do we face such decisions? When our purpose collides with fear and uncertainty.

My decision made, I stepped into the water. My sneakers and sock quickly becoming weighted with the cool water. By the time I was waist-deep, the force of the current had already announced its desire to take me downstream… away from that safe haven of beachhead that sat there so inviting.

Another moment of indecisiveness was squashed as I dove in, swimming toward the distant bank… that path… my destiny.

A direct route was not an option, for the current matched me stroke for stroke.

When I fought to swim upstream, a vision from my childhood came to mind—of a young boy struggling with the undertow at the Jersey Shore, fighting the strength of the ocean to stay in front of the life guard chair and away from the life-threatening jetty.

Here, the path on the opposit bank represented my lifeguard. And while it took a while, I soon found that I could tack like a sailboat—swimming upstream then cross-stream—bringing me closer to my destination. Yet I needed to swim harder. Swim faster. Swim with even more determination. For the current never took a break. Never took a breath. The river was relentless in its purpose.

Even as the path grew closer, its firm-footing seemed further from my grasp. My arms grew weary. My legs were losing their strength. And in that moment of sheer fear and desperation, I did what I should have done long before stepping into the water. I cried out to God.

“Father,” I prayed. “Give me the strength. Give me the power. Give me the courage and determination I need to swim harder. The power to swim faster. Please God. Please. Answer my prayers.”

And to my surprise, the voice of my creator responded. The God of the universe spoke in the quiet of my heart.

“My son,” God called. “I am the river."

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my two hands

2011-03-10T06:47:00.003-05:00

A man invited me to stick my hands into the pile of ashes before me. Run my fingers through the dust and charred remnants. Rub my hands together, feeling the grit and grime.

And then I sat to ponder the connection between the ashes that covered my two hands and the sins that covered my life. This is what I looked like through the lens of holiness. Through the eyes of a perfect guide. Dirty. Discolored. Disfigured.

Here’s what came to mind as I contemplated the condition of my hands. One: this was not the way my hands were supposed to look. Underneath these ashes and burnt scraps was the real me. Hidden from the light, from the truth. Second: I did not want to come into contact with anything white or pure or clean, because any contact would instantly blemish its beauty. Third: wanting the ashes to go away—no matter how much effort or pressure I applied—was not enough. No matter how much I rubbed my hands and fingers together, I could not clean myself. Could not.

And then I confessed my sins. Sins of gluttony, pride and neglect.

And I was cleaned. Purified. Refreshed.

Just as I was in the beginning.

will I persevere?

2011-03-03T07:42:00.002-05:00

You pray, pray, pray, pray… and nothing happens. Sound familiar?

So what happens? The despair, pressures and uncertainty of life remain. And then this sinking feeling sets in when you realize that the lack of response from God the Father only brings more despair, increased pressure and greater uncertainty.

A friend of mine has been dealing with life’s circumstances for some time now. And despite prayer, he seems to grow more weary every week. (You can pray for him here.)

So this morning I was wondering… is this what perseverance looks like? If so, am I personally ready for such a test?

At a men’s group on Monday, Kris shared a passage from 2 Peter:

For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.

We talked about the process of becoming more Christ-like, and the steps and work involved getting there. If you’re a regular reader here, you’ll know that I’ve been dealing with issues of self-control for some time on a number of fronts—and have increasingly become more confident in the power I have with Christ in this regard.

So this morning I shuddered a bit. Because the next item on the list is perseverance.

And as I think about the friend mentioned above… the one who seemingly deals with despair, pressures and uncertainty without God jumping in to change life’s circumstances … I see him not only as a friend in need of prayer… I see him as a role model for the path I have yet to reach.

#6 - return of the king

2011-02-24T14:04:00.003-05:00

#6 on my list of all-time favorite movies is Return of the King, the closing chapter of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.

This morning I was thinking of the scene where Pippin (one of the Hobbits) pledges an oath to Denethor, the man who is ruling over the city Minas Tirith in the absence of a true king. Here's the exchange:

DENETHOR: Perhaps you have come to tell me why my son is dead.

PIPPIN: Boromir died to save us my kinsman and me. He fell defending us from many foes. I offer you my service, such as it is in payment of this debt.

Later on, Pippin takes a more formal oath of service:

PIPPIN: Here do I swear fealty and service to Gondor, and to the Lord and Steward of the realm, to speak and to be silent, to do and to let be, to come and to go, in need or plenty, in peace or war, in living or dying, from this hour henceforth, until my lord release me, or death take me, or the world end. So say I, Peregrin son of Paladin of the Shire of the Halflings.

So I was thinking… people take oaths to “stewards” all of the time… we take oaths to our jobs, our banks, our dreams of worldly possessions… we take oaths to stewards who are merely trying to take the place of a true king.

So this morning, I knelt in prayer, and took an oath to the one true is king.

God. Your son Jesus died to save us, my kinsmen and me. I offer you my service in payment of this debt.

I swear fealty and service to the Lord my God, the creator of the Universe, the Father, Son and Spirit, to speak and to be silent, to do and to let be, to come and to go, in need or plenty, in peace or war, in living or dying, from this hour henceforth, until the Lord release me. So say I, Ed Gillespie, son of Raymond of New York.

50 favorite movies

2011-02-23T08:03:00.002-05:00

Yes, it's Oscar Week... so I took a few moments to list my 50 favorite movies of all time. Maybe it was the story, the acting, the cinematography or simply who I was with when I first saw it... but these are the 50 I could watch again and again.

1. Casablanca
2. Godfather II
3. Matrix
4. Godfather
5. Empire Strikes Back
6. LOTR: Return of the King
7. Shawshank Redemption
8. Silence of the Lambs
9. West Side Story
10. Amadeus

11. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
12. Goodfellas
13. Notorious
14. Gladiator
15. Schindler’s List
16. To Kill a Mockingbird
17. Fargo
18. Passion of the Christ
19. Philadelphia
20. Wizard of Oz

21. Ghostbusters
22. The Sting
23. Heathers
24. It’s a Wonderful Life
25. Nothing in Common
26. Purple Rain
27. Rocky Horror Picture Show
28. Saturday Night Fever
29. Animal House
30. The Graduate

31. American Graffiti
32. Fight Club
33. Beauty and the Beast
34. Clockwork Orange
35. Frankenstein
36. Trading Places
37. Jaws
38. Kelly’s Heroes
39. Usual Suspects

40. Saving Private Ryan
41. Patton
42. Apocalypse Now
43. Breakfast Club
44. Bull Durham
45. Dead Poet’s Society
46. Moulin Rouge
47. Mystic River
48. Slumdog Millionaire
49. Tootsie
50. The Game

the town event

2011-02-20T23:27:00.004-05:00

I was asked to cover a town event for the local paper last week.

The event was slated to begin at 6:30, so I got there around 6 to get the lay of the land. Some local politicos would be talking about the town—our history, where we’ve been, where we’re going.

I stopped to chat with the event organizer. About 100 people were expected in total. A pretty low-key affair. Given the state of the town’s budget, the menu was economical – hot dogs for everyone!

A woman stopped me before I could enter the hall. “Doors don’t open until 6:30,” she said without looking up.

“I’m with the press,” I replied, holding up my pass and camera. “Just wanted to get a few shots before the crowd arrived.”

It was your typical set up. Speaker’s podium up front, American flag in the corner. Folding tables with white paper tablecloths. Along the back of the room, the “banquet” was set up. A few coolers of lemonade, utensils and a spread of hot dogs and buns.

To my left, a side-door opened and a gentleman in a sports jacket ambled in, being careful to close the door behind him without making any noise. He looked at his watch, then across the hall towards me—before setting his eyes on the buffet table.

He glanced back over his shoulder as he stood in front of the hot dogs. He then opened up his back pack and began filling it with hot dogs. By my count, he must have stuffed 30 franks into his bag before turning and taking a seat. This seemed interesting. Odd, but interesting. So I walked over and sat next to him.

“Hi, my name’s Ed,” I remarked, introducing myself with an open hand. “I’m with the local paper.”

He shook my hand warmly and responded with a smile. “Roger. Nice to meet you.”

Now he knows I saw him stuff 30 or so hot dogs into the back pack that now sat between his legs, but he was cool as a cucumber. So, I had to ask. “Excuse me, but it seemed as if you took a lot of those hot dogs for yourself.”

“Oh yes,” he replied. “It pays to get to these events early. They probably won’t open the doors for another ten minutes or so… place will be crawling with people by then.”

Had to admire his ambition. Heh, I am a reporter, not a judge. But a curious reporter none-the-less. “Can I ask what you will do with all of those franks?”

“Eat ‘em, I guess,” he replied haphazardly. “Some today. Some tomorrow. To be honest, haven’t really thought about it much.”

Just then, our little one-one-one conversation was interrupted as a group of four people—two men and two women—entered through the main door. They looked familiar. The woman in red, she was the wife of the town’s finance chairman. The tall gentleman was a golf pro at the town’s municipal course—he was a good guy. The guy in jeans, he was a town legend—took the football team to the state championship ten years ago. I didn’t recognize the older woman (but later learned she was the mother of the town’s first selectman.)

They too made a bee-line to the buffet table—and seemed aghast when they saw that one whole tray had already been emptied.

The football star turned toward me, then trained his glare on Roger. “Excuse me,” he said with authority. “Did you see where this other tray of dogs went?”

Roger replied without remorse. “Sure, I have them. Guess you should have gotten here first if you were so hungry.”

From a distance, I could see granny mouth “what a p-i-g pig” before she and her three cohorts turned their attention to the remaining dogs. Now none of them had back backs, but they did pull out paper bags from their pockets (except granny – she used her pocketbook) and they proceeded to grab a handful of dogs – about 8 each.

“Sorry to interrupt you,” I said with respect, “but do plan on eating all of those hot dogs?”

“Heavens no,” replied the golf pro. “I’m just taking some home for my wife and kids—they couldn’t be here tonight.”

There was a loud commotion as the main door opened again. It was almost 6:30 and there was a line at the door, but only five people squeezed through before the entrance was closed again. I recognized the bank manager. And my doctor (I am so overdue for a physical.) The other three were strangers to me, but judging from their attire, I just assumed they too were local business people.

As they darted toward the hotdog tray, I guess I was just relieved that no one pulled out a bag, paper or otherwise. Instead, they reached for the paper plates… like civilized folk. And yet, as they loaded these plates with about four dogs each, I wondered whether I was the only one who could sense the commotion that was about to follow.

Sure enough, at 6:30 sharp the doors opened and the remaining 90 guests filed in—and they too made way for the hot dogs. Most of them just stared… because by this time there could not have been more than 30 dogs left in total. 30 dogs for 90 people.

Some pushed ahead to grab their wiener. Others, perhaps those good at math, took a knife to cut some dogs in half. A few stepped back, content to go hungry for at least one evening. But many. Most, perhaps. Just stood and looked at those empty platters. And wondered.

“Do we not all live in the same town?” one young lady would later ask me. “These people have kids who go to school with my kids. We live in the same neighborhood. We go to the same church.”

I looked up as the woman in red left her close-knit group of four and approached and elderly man who sat alone in front of an empty plate. She reached into her brown paper bag and pulled out a hot dog, placed it on his plate and left without even waiting for the “thank you” that surely followed.

Once back in her comfort zone, the golf pro patted her on the back, and the football star gave her a hug.

Around 7pm, right on schedule, the town’s First Selectman stepped up to the podium, thanked those in attendance, and talked about our town—our history, where we’ve been, where we’re going.

I wrote down every word and recounted it in an article I wrote. After all, I am not a judge. Just a reporter.

sunday triumph

2011-02-13T16:22:00.001-05:00

Candice greeted me when I reached her.

“Do you want a blessing or a prayer” she inquired.

“A prayer,” I replied. “I have two good friends who are fathers. One is a Christian, the other is not. They are each facing challenges with their sons. They are worried about the well being of their sons – and whether they as fathers are doing everything they can.”

So Candy prayed. She prayed for wisdom and strength and peace and blessings.

And then I returned to my seat. And a short while later I closed my eyes. I saw Jesus. And he was holding the hands of my two friends, these two fathers. And then he lifted their arms high into the air… the same way a referee lifts the hands of a boxer who has just won a fight. He rose their hands in triumph, in victory.

And then these to fathers were joined by their sons. And they lifted their hands in victory. In triumph. Everyone was smiling. Fathers, sons and Jesus.

And I wept with joy.

january treasures

2011-02-02T06:08:00.000-05:00

french toast the morning after… black swan… b&e with brian… hamptons cards… nestles kick off… hunan pan… yellow punch buggy… chicken, waffles and beverly hills with the boys…

learning to hate

2011-01-25T06:23:00.004-05:00

Other men, other Christian men, have shared with me that they have been tempted by pornography or sexual fantasies.

About three years ago, I shared one of my more personal diaries, reflecting on my willingness to fall into this temptation myself… and God’s amazing ability to pull me out.

And yet, even after that miraculous God event, I continued to disobey. Vows to repent, feelings of guilt and heartfelt prayers would be followed by moments of weakness… and at some point… when I was no longer afraid to ask for forgiveness… an abundance of God’s grace. Rinse. Repeat. Rinse. Repeat.

That changed about a month ago.

My Saturday bible study group was looking at Psalm 139. And with snow delays and other schedule conflicts, we ended up going three weeks without a meeting. Three weeks with Psalm 139.

I have since come to learn that this Psalm holds a special place in the hearts of many people I know… men and women who have taken the time to memorize the words. If you take the time to read this lyrical prayer, you will quickly understand why.

You have searched me, LORD, and you know me.

It opens with a poetic statement of intimacy… describing an active, personal relationship between a single person and the creator of the universe… a God who has taken the time to listen to you… to know you by name.

Where can I flee from your presence?

Through the highs and the lows, the darkness and the light, our God is with us in every way possible… always at our side.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

God not only loves all people… he loves me… me… for the precise person I am... the soul, the personality, the being that is uniquely me.

And then… in the midst of this psalm of intimacy and closeness, David takes an abrupt turn in verse 19.

If only you, God, would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty! They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you? I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.

Where did this come from? God and I were having this nice chat, and then all of a sudden we are talking about slaying, hatred and enemies. What’s up with that?

Now I have no enemies… and certainly not any enemies that I was looking to whack. Did not Jesus tell us to love our enemies? And who are ‘those who hate God’… atheists? Muslims? Were they not God’s children as well? These words did not resonate in any way. And what happened to that God of love and intimacy from verses 1 through 18?

To be honest, I kind of glazed over these verses the first week. Then when I hit week two of re-reading Psalm 139, I think I may have intentionally skipped these lines. By the third week, however, God was speaking to me through these verses in a new way. In a way that has changed my life.

You see… I had previously spoken about the inclination to let my mind wander toward sexual fantasy as a weakness. I was being tempted. Being lured into a place I had no desire to go. Yes, I was the victim. Helpless.

But that’s not really the case.

Because I had the power to hate. To hate the sin that drove me from God. To hate and despise the mere thought of this act. And on that day, this temptation no longer stood as a weakness, a flaw. It stood as an enemy. One that needed to be hated… one to be slayed.

That was a month ago. Any this hatred still burns today. And my enemy has not dared to show his face for all this time. And I am glad. And strong. And free.

For my Lord has searched me. And knows me. He leads me in the way everlasting. And I would hate for it to be any other way.
.

owning my soul

2011-01-24T12:32:00.002-05:00

Interesting discussion at church yesterday, delving into the difference between your “spirit” and your “soul”.

Rich explained it like this: the spirit is the life force/God force within you – and if you could see inside a person, everyone’s spirit would look the same. The soul, however, is the uniqueness of you.

Got me thinking… on the cross, at the time of his death, all four gospels relay the same account: And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.

He gave up his spirit. But he kept his soul.

Of all the gifts the Father has showered upon me, only one is unique to me: my soul. I can give the Lord my strength, my heart and my mind. But to love the Lord with all my soul does not mean giving my soul to God – he does not want this gift back – I think he just wants us to honor him by owning our soul.

We must fight to own our soul.

We must be true to who we are… never afraid to “be ourselves”… never ashamed of whom we are… never trying to be someone else… or change who we are to fit in to someone else’s picture of us.

We must also defend our soul against the one being who is willing, and anxious, to buy it.

We must fight to own our soul.

Will you join me in prayer today?

Lord, I want to honor you with my soul. I want to own my soul, defend my soul and love my soul, because you created it… and my soul is perfectly and fearfully made. I thank you for my soul. And I thank you for all of the souls that are owned by the ones for whom they were created… my brothers… my sisters. I want to love you God. I want to love you with all my soul. Which means I can’t give any of it away.
.

on fatherhood

2011-01-12T08:22:00.003-05:00

i may be dense.

ok, i am dense.

but often i need to experience something before i can internalize, see and understand. here are two examples from my experience of being a father.

first... the limitless nature of love. you grow up learning to love one mother. one father. one spouse. but it was not until after the birth of my third that i understood that the addition of each new child only increased the love i had for the ones that came before. cool, huh?

second... when i was 17, god and i had a little falling out. because i believed that if i truly loved god with all my heart, soul, mind and strength i would drop everything and become a missionary or priest. because i wanted no part of that, i assumed it meant i simply did not love god.

as a father, however, i do not want my three children spending their lives attending to my needs. i do not want them to pursue careers that interest me. i do not want them spending every waking hour thinking about me. i want them to live, love, explore and find out who they are as individuals... and then to follow the path before them with passion and joy. you see, what delights me most is when brian, meaghan and erin are the best brian, meaghan and erin they can be.

yes, that is what delights me most.

so today... love the lord by being what delights him most... you.

december treasures

2011-01-04T12:20:00.002-05:00

… beauty & essex… audrey’s pecans… cozy caroling to guitar strums... ringing the bell with jim lang… pick-up lunch with brian… singing four calling birds with my father-in-law… finding the perfect shower radio… erin’s reaction to the scooter… the blizzard… backgammon with eileen…

are we there yet?

2010-12-02T09:00:00.002-05:00

This Ingrid Michaelson song seems like an appropriate way to start the holiday season.

Especially in light of an email I received this week from a dear friend who was attending the funural of a family member who did not know God. He wrote: "I can't smile at someone and say 'I know he is in heaven right now.' I just don't believe that."

I know so many people who are far from God. People I love. There's this gift just waiting for them -- already wrapped and addressed to their name. They just need to open it. And enter the home that has been prepared for them.

Michaelson sings:

They say there's linings made of silver
Folded inside each raining cloud
Well, we need someone to deliver
Our silver lining now

And are we there yet?
Home, home, home
Home, home, home

Our father has already delivered that silver lining. Oh, how I long for the people I love to find their way home this month.

lessons from the rail trail

2010-11-17T07:57:00.004-05:00

Sometimes people are just thirsty

Sometimes being an evangelist means you need to shut up.

Sometimes leading a movement has nothing to do with organizing or programs.

Sometimes when the wind blows, the trees come together to create the most well-choreographed ballet.

Sometimes you need to go out of your normal way to meet someone at the exact place where they wanted to be at that moment in time.

Sometimes people are cynical. Most times they are not.

Sometimes you can hear the river flowing… even when it is well out of range.

Sometimes you can give someone the most amazing gift just by showing up.

Sometimes people will stop and talk, and share things about their life, and not be really sure why they feel so comfortable with a stranger.

Sometimes the moments in life where absolutely nothing is going on are the fullest.

Sometimes people will go out of their way to repay a simple act of kindness.

Sometimes a smile means more than words.

Sometimes… there are not enough sometimes.

The cold and rain have brought an end to rail trail Saturdays for now… spring will be here soon... but not soon enough.

5 days with james: tuesday

2010-11-16T06:26:00.003-05:00

Picking up on this series from a few months ago, the question for today is: how can you tell if you are alive in Christ?

In the book of Romans, the apostle Paul writes:

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.

I remember an afternoon in NYC about 30 years ago. A young man approached me on the street and asked “Do you want to be saved?”

So we talked. And I confessed with my mouth that Jesus was Lord. And believed that God raised him from the dead. And was told that I was saved.

But these were all things I had already known… things taught to me by the nuns who taught grammar school… by the Jesuits who reveled in deep theological conversations in high school. Truth is, that afternoon was just another afternoon… more about an interesting encounter with a fellow New Yorker than with the almighty creator of the universe. I confessed and believed… but saved? Hmmmm….

That encounter from years past came to mind as I meditated on what are perhaps the most discussed verses in the Book of James, 2:14-26, where James makes the case that faith—when not accompanied by action and good deeds—is dead.

If all it takes are your mouth and heart to be saved, why are works required to be alive in faith? How does the message from James relate to Romans TNT?

Perhaps faith is not a transaction, it’s a movement. Heart-felt belief cannot be measured once at a point in time… it’s more like the intensity of a light at the end of a well-travelled road… one that gets brighter or dimmer or simply stagnates depending on which way we are walking (or not) at any moment.

On Monday morning, my mind and heart were on Christ as I drove to work. A car was pulled over with its hood raised, so I stopped my car and offered to help. It wasn’t something I thought about… my car just pulled over to the side of the road by itself. There was no way possible that I could pass this stranded driver by while I believed in my heart that God raised his only son from the dead in order to save me. No. way. possible.

But alas, there are many mornings when I simply drive by such people in need. On those days, while I still may confess that Jesus is Lord and believe God raised him from the day… those words don’t consume my heart. And that’s where the difference lies. In the condition of my heart.

Deeds are the measuring stick of the heart.

How frequently does my heart stop beating for Christ? Too often. For while you can have good works without Christ, you cannot have Christ without works. The heart will simply not allow it. And too often, I am simply driving by. Dead when I should be alive.

what's coming up...

2010-11-10T10:39:00.002-05:00

As the "stupid crazy" time at work seems like it is receeding into the "normal crazy" mode... wanted to tee up a few topics that I plan on writing about over the next few weeks. (Making a list helps keep me accountable!)

My fifth day with James. When you start a series called "5 days with James" it helps to write more than four posts.

Reflections from the rail trail. Want to follow up from this August post.

K-P-G. On many days, I end my prayer time with "For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory"... so thought it would be worthwhile to unpack that a bit, starting with "for thine is the kingdom" and continuing from there.

So it is written. So it shall be done.

my night with huckabee

2010-10-07T10:23:00.002-04:00

Mike Huckabee gave a great speech last week.

It was not a political event, it was a fundraiser for the Bridgeport Rescue mission in CT.

At a time when the news cycle is dominated by extremists like O’Donnel, Angle, Miller and Paul… and the say-nothing-partisans like Palin, Gingrich and Beck… one could only get the sense that Mike Huckabee could well be the Republican nominee in 2012.

Huckabee was the keynote speaker for the annual Rescue Mission fundraising dinner last week. Speaking to a non-partisan crowd in CT, I imagine he chose his words wisely.

In fact, he started off by telling the audience he was advised to stay clear of politics and religion – which as an ex-Baptist minister who ran for president presented a few challenges.

Now I have not seen much of Huckabee since he conceded to McCain in 2008 and don’t believe I have ever seen his show. But on this night at least, Huckabee came across as smart, engaging, pragmatic… and most of all, as a man of great empathy.

From his humble roots in Arkansas, he knows what it is like to grow up in hardship. And he shared stories of sitting with families in ER rooms, counseling pregnant teens, standing up for women who had been abused by abusive husbands, helping seniors get healthcare, helping jobless find jobs.

In his tone and manner, I could almost hear another Arkansas governor who once captured America with the words “I feel your pain”.

Yes, there were a few hard-core Republican catch phrases sprinkled throughout his speech that made me cringe. But there were also some moments when this progressive leaned in to hear more.

He spoke about the percent of kids who live in poverty who come from single-parent households or families where the parents did not graduate high school (very high) vs. mother-father families where both parents finished high school (low). And he made the case that our put-em-in-jail-crazed society only serves to create more poverty and never-ending cycles of despair. There’s one line that stuck with me: “It cost us a lot less for the government to pay for four years of college than four years in prison.” Interesting.

Before the night ended, he got up and played in the band.

And yes, he did a great job promoting the work of the Bridgeport Rescue Mission.

Whether or not you’re a Huckabee fan, you have to love the work done at the Bridgeport Rescue Mission. It’s a non-profit, faith-based organization committed to providing food, shelter, clothing, education and job training to hungry, homeless and addicted people throughout Fairfield County, CT. This year, they will serve over 600,000 meals and provide more than 40,000 nights of lodging to those in need. And yes, they need your help. Please go to http://www.bridgeportrescuemission.org/

brother, where art thou?

2010-10-06T20:53:00.004-04:00

History has no shortage of famous brothers.

Cain and Able. John, Bobby and Ted Kennedy. Jesse and Frank James. Joel and Ethan Coen. Orville and Wilbur Wright. The Marx Brothers. The Ringling Brothers. The list goes on and on.

Still, it only just occurred to me that the first disciples of Christ were brothers: Simon and Andrew.

Of course, Simon becomes Peter—the rock on which Jesus builds the church. So maybe Andrew just gets lost in the shuffle. Like Tommie Aaron, who shares in the major league record for most home runs ever hit by brothers (768).

But after Peter and Andrew… the next two called by Christ were also brothers: James and John.

And as you read through the Gospels, it becomes clear that Peter, Andrew, James and John were key guys – the inner ring of a small, select group of followers. These brothers climbed the mountain and witnessed the transfiguration, tussled for attention, prayed in Gethsemane and followed Christ through the trials all the way to his death on the cross… then ran to the tomb three days later.

Perhaps it is no coincidence that those called upon to follow Christ and spread the good news were brothers. We know for sure that there were times of doubt, fear and disbelief for these men. There were moments when they wanted to turn their back on God. When persecution and ridicule ran high. When it simply was too tough to believe. And even more difficult to walk in his footsteps.

And yet, they persevered.

Who else but a brother could convince you trust your heart?

Who else but a brother could reassure you in times of darkness?

Who else but a brother could kick you in the ass – and set you straight?

You see, Peter, Andrews, James and John shared a life before Christ. They shared experiences. Perspectives. Through their words, they could validate, strengthen and challenge each other like no other.

Some days I wonder, how much more could I do for Christ if my two brothers walked beside me. Could they reassure me, provide the strength and the nudges (and kicks) I so desperately need to be the man I know I could be? In my moments of doubt, fear and disbelief, could they grab me by the shoulder and whisper in my ear: Brother, we have grown up together... fruit of the same womb... be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be a man of courage; be strong. Do everything in love.

I don’t know.

For unlike Peter, Andrew, James and John… I walk without my brothers.

But I do not walk alone. There’s TK, Stephen, Francisco, Dave, Mike, Kris, Dan, Kevin, Bill, Scott, Norbert, Derek, Perry, Rich. Bob and Byron, to name a few. These are my brothers. We can be honest, and brutal, and forgiving, and a pain in the ass when necessary. We look out for one another. Brothers, for sure.

But… perhaps… not entirely the same.

borrowed words

2010-09-28T23:39:00.002-04:00

from nancy's blog...

i sometimes know
i do not know
and sometimes see
i do not see
so constantly
i must be led
every moment
to be shown
what to do
where to go
my need is great
for Him alone
and in seeking
i am known

5 days with james: sunday

2010-09-26T14:22:00.002-04:00

I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.

So what do you say… will you hand over that hamburger?

Let’s try this:

Mary--who you’ve never met--told me that if you gave me a hamburger today, she would pay you two dollars next Tuesday. Really.

Still ready to fork over that burger?

Let’s try one more. James told Stephen who told Jessica. The message was then passed on from Jessica to Aaron, Deidra, Joby, Siobhan, Tommy then John. John told Sue, and it was then passed on from Sue to Jerome, Latasha, Andy, Rachel, Eileen then Josh. Josh told Deepa who relayed the message to Ronnie, Vicki, PD, Lucy, Victor and Diego. Diego told Cho who shared the news with Ed, Jane, Hannah, Rickie, Sahid, Lou and Erin. Erin told Fred, and it went down the line to Xi, Sheila, Suti, Don, Ophelia, Juan, Kiki, Meaghan, Will, Tristan, Helen, Luana, Hal, Henry and Huck. Huck told Gigi, who then told Zoey, Didi, Barbara, Jake, Li, Ione, Chelsea, Karen, Stan, Ursula, Otto, Phil, Kevin, Regis, Debbie, Joy and Gil. Gil had a word with Yuri, who passed it on to Quinne, Jaque, Pablo, Juliette, Charles, Soo, Ni, Larry, Heidi, Jeff, Ahmal, Troy, Mary, Donna then Paul. And Paul passed it on to me. If you give me a hamburger today, that guy James would pay you next week. What do you say?

Because that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? A promise.

A promise from some guy you never met, passed on from generation to generation, told and retold by people you don’t know, people you have no reason to trust. But you do.

Except you’re not asked to fork over a hamburger. You need to give everything. Face trials of every kind. Be slow to anger. Hold your tongue. Don’t judge. Don’t boast. Be patient in the face of suffering.

The Book of James tells us to do this all. For a promise. From a guy you never met.

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

5 days with james: thursday

2010-09-23T06:31:00.001-04:00

Some of my friends are turned off from God because of what they see as a self-righteous, holier-than-thou attitude among church goers.

The Book of James provides some words that make you think. One the one hand:

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

In simplest terms, James 1:27 tells us to love God and love your neighbor. Spiritually, you should focus on your own life, your own heart. And with your hands and feet, help those who need your assistance. There is no judgment, no condemnation, no preaching. Just love. Sounds simple.

But James ends on a slightly different tone:

My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.

Here in 5:19-20, the Word seems to be promoting the idea of direct intervention—confrontation when one strays from the path, if you will. Here, victory comes when we turn someone around and steer them toward repentance.

If nothing else, the Book of James reminds me that building an argument for anything around one-off Bible verses is probably note ideal – we need to look at the broader context of the gospels and epistles. Good thing I committed to writing five posts on James… will give me something to think about for the next two.

5 days with james: wednesday

2010-09-22T06:46:00.000-04:00

One of the political blogs I visit regularly requires you to preview comments before you submit them. Once you have a chance to review, you must then choose between “OK to Post” and “Cancel”.

I would estimate that I end of deleting about 50% of my posts, primarily because they are snarky, or mean-spirited or simply do not add anything of value to the conversation.

I wish I had the same “OK to Post” filter in the off-line world.

…take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire… no man can tame the tongue…

On Saturday, I posted a reply on a Facebook post, then went back a few hours later to chastise myself. On Sunday, a group of us were watching a YouTube video taken by a friend where he got very emotional at the sight of a double rainbow—gushing in amazement. In response to this incredible awestruck moment, I handed him a purse, an act that was childish and demeaning in so many ways. Two days later I called to apologize.

Maybe one day I’ll get that “OK to Post/Cancel” feature to work in real-time.

5 days with james: monday

2010-09-20T09:02:00.002-04:00

You’ve heard the phrase ‘practice what you preach’. In the Book of James, it reads as such:

Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.

When a preacher or pastor does something wrong, it makes for headlines. While we are all just as weak or fallible, some can fail in silence while others must succumb to the cry “you hypocrite!”

I wonder, however, whether this affects what topics pastors and preachers choose for their Sunday sermons. I wonder whether this need to ‘practice what you preach’ leads some to simply “preach what they already practice”. After all, do you find it surprising that the most popular sermons among married men involve homosexuality and abortions? Those are pretty safe bets.

Of course, these fears probably extend beyond the pulpit. I am sure that I am more likely to harp on my spouse, my kids, my co-workers in areas that are my strengths – and ignore their lapses in areas where I, let's say, need some more practice.

so, why don't you give more?

2010-09-14T22:39:00.003-04:00

Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on."

An article in the NY Times Magazine caught my eye last month.

For decades, surveys have shown that upper-income Americans don’t give away as much of their money as they might and are particularly undistinguished as givers when compared with the poor, who are strikingly generous.

Americans as a whole tend to be far more generous than other nations – giving more than $300 billion a year. But when you peel back the numbers, you find that low-income working families are the most generous group, giving away about 4.5 percent of their income on average. This compares to about 2.5 percent among the middle class, and 3 percent among high-income families.

So why is it that those with the most disposable income are less inclined to part with their wealth?

Low income people may just know more people who are in need. Poverty, homelessness and hunger are not statistics or movies of the week – they are family members, neighbors, co-workers. There are faces and stories that bring these issues to life on a daily basis. Need is real.

There’s also the ‘there but for the grace of God’ phenomenon. When you’re living paycheck to paycheck, there is always a chance that you may one day move from donor to donee – a likelihood that becomes less likely when you have a six-figure IRA.

Perhaps, too, we have a much easier time grasping dollars than percentages. While $2,000 for the deli worker may represent more than $20,000 from a bank VP – the $20,000 just sounds like a lot more.

Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.

Why are those who have the most to give the least likely to share in their abundance?We fall in love. We fall in love with money. With the pleasure, power and security it provides. We love money more than we love people.

And how do we begin to covet, Clarice? Do we seek out things to covet? We begin by coveting what we see every day.

What’s worse, the NY Times article adds, only a small percentage of charitable giving by the wealthy was actually going to the needs of the poor; instead it was mostly directed to other causes — cultural institutions, alma maters — which often came with the not-inconsequential payoff of enhancing the donor’s status among his or her peers.

So... I’m not looking for an answer to this next question, but hope you will take a moment to reflect in your own way: What is stopping you from give 5%, 10%, 15% or more to those in need?

is there no going back?

2010-09-07T21:11:00.005-04:00

People will come Ray. They'll turn up your driveway not knowing for sure why they're doing it. They'll arrive at your door as innocent as children, longing for the past. They'll pass over the money without even thinking about it: for it is money they have and peace they lack.

There has been a lot of chatter recently regarding the need to “restore America”. So it got me thinking… is there a particular date in time we want to restore?

I walked down my street the other day and thought about the people who live on my block. These are good people, neighbors who are willing to lend a hand, watch out for each others’ kids. They get involved in the community, many go to church or synagogue, they keep their homes neat.

My neighbors are OK, so I guess it’s you and your friends that are causing all the problems.

Over the past two scores and seven years, I have lived in poor, congested city blocks and upper middle-class suburbs. And when I think about the moral character of my neighbors, their honor, their values… the only conclusion that makes any sense is that people are people… much like they have always been. The kids my children hang out with look, sound and act a lot like the kids I want to school with some thirty-off years ago. So what exactly are we trying to restore?

In one blog discussion, a man wrote about how this nation was going downhill, and he talked about rising crime, more abortions, an increase in divorce and a host of other metrics that reflect on our country’s values. The problem, however, is that facts show otherwise.

• Violent crime is at its lowest point in 35 years
• The homicide rate is at its lowest point in 45 years
• The abortion rate has steadily declined since 1984
• The divorce rate hasn’t been as low since 1970
• Heck, even the flow of illegal immigrants from Mexico is down

The charitable spirit of America remains high – including a record $300 billion in donations and hundreds upon hundreds of millions of hours volunteered in areas in need, such as New Orleans.

So I wonder, what exactly are we looking to restore?

Look up any point in time in America’s history and you can cite instances of corruption, hate and selfishness… as well as beauty, caring, respect and love.

When you think about what has changed in America in recent years—there are probably three factors that have contributed most to the current “restoration” meme.

1. 24/7 Information Access
We’ve gone from a half-hour of Walter Cronkite to a non-stop barrage of cable news, Internet stories and email chains. As bad news, tragedy and evil provide for good ratings, we are inundated in negative news.

2. The Global Economy
We import more than we export, and for the past ten years about 5% of the US GDP has been transferred to other countries—in essence redistributing wealth around the world.

3. Income Distribution
We have increasingly become a nation of haves and have nots. When I was younger, there was a sense that everyone in the “middle class” was in it together. Today, the upper middle class has broken away from the pack. In the past 40 years, the income of the lower middle class and middle class has risen less than 30%, while the upper middle class (57%) and upper class (74%) have experienced significantly higher gains. (And let's not even discuss the rich.)

In simplest terms we know more, other countries are improving and we no longer share a common lifestyle. But as far as I know, no one wants to give up their Internet, low-cost products or paychecks.

So I pose the question to you… has America changed? Should we go back—or move forward? Are people different today? Or do we simply romanticize about the past, just as our forefathers remembered the good old days?

People will come Ray. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. It reminds us of all that once was good and it could be again. Oh... people will come Ray. People will most definitely come.

what a great idea!

2010-09-02T21:31:00.004-04:00

As someone who spends half of my day writing, it should come as no surprise that many of the remaining hours are dedicated to research… so I spend a lot of time on the Google machine.

When citing market trends or supporting facts, I always make it a point to find multiple sources. In many cases, however, one could read dozens of articles that make a similar claim – only to find out that everyone has based their story on the same 2003 study out of an Indiana junior college. And when you go download the original 67-page study, you see that its authors included dozens of caveats that never made it into the news.

Apparently, as journalism has migrated from a once-a-day print edition to an endless stream of digital posts, there is no time, budget or desire for fact-checking.

Perhaps I am guilty as well. Often I am telling a story to drive interest in a specific technology or raise awareness about a specific business problem – and when I go online looking for source material, I am usually looking for a fact or tidbit that supports a pre-conceived notion. Given the vastness of the Internet – 230 million Website, another 100 million+ blogs and trillions of pages – you can ALWAYS find someone who can support ANY point of view.

And when you read that opinion that matches your preconceived notion, a light bulb goes off. What a great idea! This guy is a genius! I need to share this article with everyone! Quick, post this link on Facebook!

It’s so easy to find someone who agrees with you—no matter how crazy you are—that there is really no reason to investigate the facts anymore. Or consider an opposing viewpoint. Or question our pre-conieved notions.

After all, if so-and-so writes X and he’s a genius – that makes me pretty smart for agreeing with him. Instant validation!

So here’s my promise for today. Before posting any links to my blog or Facebook page, I will take a moment to consider what Rotary calls the four-way test. Of the things we thing, say or so:

1. Is it the TRUTH?
2. Is it FAIR to all concerned?
3. Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?
4. Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?

Given the standards of most Internet stories, doesn’t sound like I will be posting many links anymore..

setting the table

2010-08-31T08:36:00.003-04:00

here's what's bouncing around that small filing cabinet above my shoulders. will see if any of these become posts over the next few weeks:

Why is that people with higher incomes give less?

The Google machine makes it easy to search, post and link to a multitude of essays that expound what you believe. But does that simple fact that you agree with the conclusion make ithe author a genius?

Many people are talking about the need to Restore America. So I wonder, are we just romanticizing the past? Are we better off putting this car in drive or reverse?

If you have any thoughts you want to share, let me know. Otherwise stay tuned!

just a little over 100

2010-08-26T22:28:00.002-04:00

The 100 Thing Challenge dares you to live for an extended period of time with only 100 possessions. What you “count” as yours is really up to you. The idea is simply to de-clutter and de-stuff your life so you can make more room for reflection, relationships and the important things.

I have not started my 100 Think Challenge, but was intrigued enough by the idea to take inventory. Surprise, surprise, I came in just over 100. Well, actually the total came in at 458. And that’s not counting several sweaters (in the attic), my “skinny Ed” pants (in boxes) and all the books, CDs, DVDs, photos and videos I’ve accumulated over the years.

Here’s a top-line inventory:

23 Baseball Caps
13 Pair of Shoes
32 Ties
3 Gloves
2 Winter Hats

43 Sweatshirt/Sweaters/Coats
13 Suits/Sports Jackets
50 Pants/Shorts
140 Shirts
63 Socks/Undergarments

16 Rings/Cufflinks/Pins/Watches
7 Memorabilia/Gifts
8 Golf Trophies

12 Household Items (Toolbox. Frying Pans)
11 Sports Related Items (Golf Clubs, Mitt, Bike)
9 Personal Items (Wallet, Razor, etc.)
Many Books, CDs, DVDs, Photos, Videos
Sleeping Bag and Tent

5 Consumer Electronics
1 Car
1 Bible

Some tidbits.

Yes, I own a Barbie Doll (a UVa collectible). There are six watches in my bureau, none work. Of my 300+ articles of clothing, nearly 25% have not been worn in the past year. There’s a golf-ball marker that was used once about a dozen years ago. And a “Milennium” bottle of Bud that has aged a decade in my closet.

Not sure what’s next, so stay tuned. But I can say that I was a Rotary Club meeting last Friday and they were selling club gear – a hat and a T-Shirt for $25. And as I reached into my pocket, it dawned on me that I had 23 baseball caps sitting at home. So I passed. For now.

a message from god

2010-08-24T07:38:00.003-04:00

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"says the Lord. On the contrary:

"If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Romans 12:9-21 (NIV)

thirsty

2010-08-22T12:51:00.002-04:00

This past weekend, a man drove down to a trail in town that is popular with bikers, joggers and dog walkers. He set up a table at a juncture—a spot where many start, end or turn around. On the table sat a pitcher of lemonade, some bottled water and a sign that read “FREE—cold drinks”.

Some people asked what cause he represented, or what he was selling (‘there’s always an agenda’). Others walked by the table, intent on never looking over—because eye contact was dangerous.

But most people smiled and thanked this man. In fact, many were overwhelmed by what was truly the most simplest acts of kindness. Others stopped to chat… their day suddenly changed for the better. One jogger remarked how cold the world had been feeling to him. Another woman, who returned from a six mile run, said ‘I was so hoping you would still be here when I got back’.

After two hours, the man packed up his table, the cooler and his sign and took inventory. He had served a total of five drinks: two lemonades and three bottles of water.

And yet he came away knowing that many more drank that day… for what he came to learn was that people are not thirsty for water or lemonade… they thirst for kindness. They thirst for love.

How indifferent have we become to our brothers and sisters? How often do we go through days with blinders on, focused only on the next destination? How cold has the world become, that such a simple gesture—a glass of water—can mean so much? How have we allowed so many people in our community get so thirsty?

me and teh gay

2010-08-21T11:34:00.003-04:00

I visited a church on Long Island last month. The service was most enjoyable, but when the pastor went into a rant condemning the sin that is homosexuality, I found myself distracted. Disturbed by both the tone and content of his sermon.

I wrote down the scriptures he quoted, and promised myself that I would look them up later. As an evangelical Christian who believes in gay marriage, gay love and gay life, I find myself often scribbling down scripture verses for further study.

Things were much simpler in my early life. We attended the church of the holy convenience, where truthiness ruled and my moral compass could be aligned according to the most prevalent winds. While I certainly knew gay people, it was not a topic of discussion. The only times I used the word gay was in making off-hand insults to one of my brothers or close friends. (Being called gay, you see, was not exactly a compliment.) Actual gay people? Well, what they did was their business.

That changed about a decade ago when I came to know Jesus. To find out that the creator of the universe loved me and wanted to have a personal relationship with me, well that changed everything. I wanted to know everything I could about God. Sunday services was not enough… I needed mid-week services and Bible service.

And one of the things I picked up handing around church people was that being gay was a sin. A gay person could certainly come to church, but they could never serve in a leadership position. And I guess that point of view sunk in. For a while there, I came to believe that being gay—while no worse than being a gossip—was something of which God did not approve. Civil unions, that was okay. But marriage? No way.

Then something happened.

Are you ready? I actually got to know some gay people.

On Facebook. Interacting on blogs. And yes, in real life too. And we would talk about life, and movies, and politics, and families, and work. Over the course of a few years, two things became abundantly clear.

One, the Christian-led opposition to gay marriage caused tremendous hurt and pain. It led to confusion, and in many cases, drove people away from God. Christians spending incredible amounts of resources to drive people away from God.

Two, for gay men and women who were in long-term, monogamous relationships, the love between these two people was as real and warm and magical and blessed as any other relationship I have witnessed. From the spats and hugs to the tears and morning coffees, gay love was simply love.

Over time it became evident that opposition to gay marriage was anything but Christ-like. So where was the disconnect?

The pastor in Long Island who condemned the gay quoted Romans 1: 27-27.

26Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. 27In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

Now I don’t recall ever thinking that the love I have for my wife could adequately be described as “inflamed with lust”. And the gay men and women I know have never used that term either. So I can only wonder… is Paul not condemning the fact of being gay… but rather a specific type of behavior? Is he talking about reckless sex and lust without love?

(I could also mention that Romans 1 is followed by a discourse on why no one should judge anyone else, but I digress.)

You could have similar debates regarding word choice and meaning with most of the other scripture verses used to blanketly vilify gay men and women, such as 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, 1 Timothy 1:9-10 and Jude 1:7.

Leviticus is another story. Lev 20:13 reads: If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

I will not venture to wordsmith this passage, but will make two quick remarks. The people I know who swear by the first half of this verse do not believe in the second half. More importantly—and I don’t mean to use this as a Christian crutch—but Jesus changed everything. His life. His death. His resurrection. Everything changed.

So here’s where I am. Is being gay a sin?

Jesus spent a lot of time with both religious leaders and the “non-church crowd”, and he had nothing to say on the topic. But what he did was promise that he would send a Counselor… and that if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved – and when you are saved, the law will be placed on your heart.

The law is on my heart. When I wake up in the morning, I have a clear understanding of what I should do—and not do—to both share and proclaim the love I have for God. And yes, God finds ways to ‘raise the bar’ on these expectations over time.

So today, I implore my Christian brothers and sisters to stop wasting their breath discussing what is right and wrong with others and simply focus all of the energy on helping people fall in love with Christ. Just help people fall in love with the one who loves them more than anything.

There is right. There is wrong. And I have complete confidence that anyone who walks toward Christ with love in their hearts will be able to discern right from wrong on their own. I invite you on this journey.

In the meantime, I just want to say thank you to the men and women who had the courage to share their lives and stories with me over the past few years--stories, i imagine, that were not always so easy to share.

muslim = terrorist

2010-08-19T15:20:00.006-04:00

Given all the brouhaha about the Park 51 Project (aka Cordoba House, aka Ground Zero Mosque) – what we are really talking about is something quite simple. Many if not most Americans associate people of muslim faith with the terrorists who attacked this country on 9/11.

muslim = terrorist

Even in today’s “politically correct” world, more than four in ten Americans will readily admit that they are prejudiced against Muslims. One would image that others harbor such thoughts, but are not willing to admit that on a phone call survey.

muslim = terrorist

When American leaders such as Newt Gingrich equate a mosque to a swastika – the comparison could not be any clearer. He is sayting that the symbol of faith for 1.5 billion people is no different than the symbol associated with the most vicious, cold-blooded killers of the past century.

muslim = terrorist

People who lost friends and family in 9/11 must live with that loss every day. To me, it doesn’t matter whether or not it is “appropriate” if a mosque in lower Manhattan will bring back memories of 9/11… the fact is, for many it will. For many, 9/11 may be their only direct engagement with Muslims. While the association between muslims and terrorists may not be rational, no one can say that it is not real. The pain is always real.

muslim = terrorist

This week’s The Economist opined: It is impossible to be sensitive both to those who see the mosque as an affront and those who see opposition to it as proof of prejudice.

I choose not to be saddled by such limitations. Instead, I choose to be embolded by Donna Marsh O'Connor and the September Eleventh Families for Peaceful Tomorrows, a coalition of more than 250 families which recently endorsed the mosque.

"I can understand people saying that this is a slap. This does hurt. But we don't change fundamentally what our nation is about because it will hurt people,” O’Connor said. “We're a family who is forever changed, certainly forever scarred, but we're not the victims of 9/11. Our daughter was the victim of 9/11 and we don't want to see our nation fold.”

muslim = terrorist

Unfortunately, our nation has a history of folding time and time again… when you look at the American math over the years, you find periods where:

indians = savages
blacks = animals
jews = greedy filth
japanese = kamakazi killers

And yet… as we learn more about the people we so freely hate… we always come to find out that we were wrong. We are always wrong. But eventually, we figure that out. And so too we will again.

.

we're gonna need a bigger boat

2010-08-16T09:30:00.003-04:00

There is no doubt that illegal immigration is a serious problem in America.

This past weekend, I was thinking about the 1975 summer blockbuster Jaws, where Chief Martin Brody looks over and suddenly realizes the full scope of the challenge he and his friends face and utters: "we’re gonna need a bigger boat."

That is America today. And yet, our ‘bigger boat’ should not take the form of a bigger fence or a bigger club. What we need are bigger minds and bigger hearts.

Illegal immigration came to the forefront earlier this year with the passage of SB1070 in Arizona. The problem with this approach has nothing to do with illegal immigrants (the key word there being illegal) but rather the tens of millions of U.S. citizens and legal immigrants of Latino descent—who become more likely “suspects” purely because of the color of their skin.

Now some want to amend the 14th Amendment of the US Constitution—the same amendment that ensured that my mother (and her children, including me) were considered citizens of the United States.

Given that we already have laws on the books outlawing illegal immigration (again, hence the word illegal), how does harassing US citizens of Latino descent help solve the problem? Does vilifying newborn babies somehow eradicate the flow of Mexicans across our southern border?

No one, it seems, wants to talk about the real criminals responsible for illegal immigration: the U.S. business owners and homeowners who provide under-the-table jobs to individuals who have no right to work in the United States. Here’s the fact: if there were no jobs, there would not be a lot of immigration.

The anti-immigration site Immigration Counters reports that over 11 million skilled jobs are provided to illegal aliens. Other sites report that the unemployment rate is actually lower among illegals than native born Americans. Who is at bigger fault? The man who wants to feed his family and needs to earn more than the $7 a day wage prevalent in Mexico? Or the greedy business owner who can pad his profits by hiring undocumented day laborers at below-market wages?

My daughter can’t register for her junior soccer without producing a bona fide birth certificate and proof of residence. Why is it so hard for businesses and employers to request that new hires validate that they have the right to work in the United States?

Here’s my plan: fine every business $100,000 per day for every undocumented worker. Fine every homeowner $5,000 per day for ever gardener, pool boy, nanny or maid they pay.

But no—we don’t attack people who could very well be our family or friends. It’s the “outsiders” we attack. The people who are not like us. They are the problem. It’s all their fault.

We ignore the sins of those in our little club and complain about the sins of everyone else. Think we’re gonna need a bigger boat.

setting the table

2010-08-12T09:01:00.005-04:00

Did you hear the latest joke? A gay, a muslim and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar...

Recent events, including the overturn of Prop 8, the plan to build a mosque in NYC and discussions around SB1070 and the 14th ammendment, have fueled--sometimes heated--debates.

These are all complicated issues that cut across many boundaries for me, including my faith, my country and my personal relationships. Over the next three weeks I will use this space to do some thinking and put on paper where I stand. Feel free to point me in any direction... I am open to ideas.

(And now that I wrote that I am going to do this, so it will be done!)

the '100 thing' thing

2010-08-10T09:48:00.003-04:00

This article in the NY Times business section caught my attention this weekend. It tells the story of Tammy Strobel who, emboldened by a Web site that challenges consumers to live with just 100 personal items, winnowed down her wardrobe and toiletries to precisely that number.

With my laptop (personal item #1) and the old Google machine, I came across the 100 Thing Challenge – which motivated me to take a quick glance into my closet this morning. For starters, found:

- 23 baseball caps
- 30 golf shirts
- 11 pair of shoes

It took me all of 30 seconds to count these items. Plan is to do a more complete inventory of “my stuff” over the next week. Not sure where this is going… so stay tuned for more!

rentry into the blogosphere

2010-08-09T11:12:00.002-04:00

getting ready to resume my web log. there's definitely value in getting things out of the small filing case above my shoulders.

will probably cover a broader range of topics going forward. will continue to report on my desire to walk with Christ (along with the all-too-frequent detours) but will also expand to cover other topics that i spend time pondering... from politics, movies and sports to family life, relationships and current events.

see ya next week...

my katrina story

2010-04-29T22:50:00.002-04:00

my katrina story

Can one person make a difference?

Twenty years ago, Glen Schrieber visited Central City New Orleans and saw escalating violence, extreme poverty, broken families, poor education and drugs. He felt for the young people growing up in this environment, so he started showing up with footballs and baseballs – playing games with kids at two of the local housing developments. He came back day after day, giving his time, talents and love.

His passion became a ministry – Urban Impact – and today, some of the very kids who were lifted up by Glen and others have picked up the mantle and are serving as role models for a whole new generation.

Last week I was blessed with the opportunity to join Urban Impact – if only for one week – as part of a Katrina Relief mission trip. We worked construction by day. Played with kids in the evening.

While I went down to help rebuild New Orleans, I think New Orleans ended up rebuilding me.

Since Katrina, Urban Impact and their partner organizations Castle Rock Church and Touch Global have hosted over 12,000 volunteers…teams who have invested more than 600,000 hours in helping some of the hardest hit areas of New Orleans.

I am sure many bloggers have been to NOLA since Katrina, and others could provide a more detailed recap of life in the Big Easy these days… but here’s what left an impression on me.

Downtown, the French Quarter and the Garden District were in full swing, loud, lively and showing few ill effects from the 2005 hurricane that devastated this city. St Bernard’s Parish, which I remember seeing on TV a lot back then, bustled with commercial activity.

It’s a much different story in the Ninth Ward. In the “Lower Ninth” you can pass entire blocks – once filled with houses – that are now nothing but knee-high grass. Shattered homes and shattered lives simply bulldozed away… as if they never existed.

We spent most of our time in the “Upper Ninth” where 4 out of 5 homes look much like they did in the months immediately following the storm. Wrecked, boarded up, with spray paint across the front entrance indicated the dates the home was searched. How many were found alive. How many dead. Many adorned the initials TFW: Toxic Flood Waters. All of the schools were still abandoned.

And yet what struck me most about my time in the Upper Ninth was the sense of hope embedded in the people who have come back… and those who are still trying to rebuild. The second day on our job site, a gentleman came up and asked if he could help us paint. His name was Duplexes.

Duplexes lost his home, his job, his life. He currently lived with his brother. The first time I spoke with him, he shared with me how he felt for those who were less fortunate than he. He felt he had so much compared to many in the world. And when I got home that night, I realized he did. He had peace. Satisfaction. And a giving heart. In so many ways, he was richer than I.

I had the pleasure of hearing from Larry, Mat, English, Tyrone, Dingo and many others. They all had stories – especially when it came to Katrina and her aftermath. Being separated from families. Watching a life’s work gradually fade under a rising tide. Being herded like cattle. Shipped to far away states.

There was nothing left for them in New Orleans. But they returned. Pioneers all of them. To rebuild.

The work done by Urban Impact is making a difference in so many ways. We were told from the get go that our work in NOLA was not to rebuild homes, but to help build up lives. The project was secondary to the people. We were encouraged to spend time walking in the neighborhoods where we worked, talk to people, listen to people. And yes, we played games with a lot of kids.

We also prayed and shared God’s love.

But mostly, the amazing people of New Orleans shared God’s love with me. Duplexes reminded me that God’s grace is enough. Dingo – a courageous young man – told me how you need to be the same man both in and out of church. Tyrone reminded me how valuable it is to invest in other people.

Together, they reminded me how one man can make a difference.

Maybe that person is me. Or you.

praying psalm 28

2010-04-08T21:25:00.001-04:00

Crossposted at Daily Prayer.

Two people spoke to me today about Easter.

Neither would describe themselves as religious. And as we were in a “business environment” the subject of God and faith would normally not come up in conversation.

Their circumstances could not have been any more different. One of these business colleagues lost her mother last week after a long illness. She was in mourning. The second had just been hired for a great job after a six month search. She was celebrating.

Both, however, were overcome with a feeling of joy and hope. And both attributed that feeling to Easter… to the point they felt compelled to share such good news.

So my prayer today is that the hope of Easter will continue to blossom this spring, and that the fragrance of this bouquet will fill the air and satisfy the gasping breaths of those most dear to us. Will you pray with me?

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. The LORD is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation for his anointed one. Save your people and bless your inheritance; be their shepherd and carry them forever.

Amen

the final forty...

2010-04-03T08:23:00.001-04:00

40 days of thanks, prayer and praise

Day 40. Thank you for the cross.

Day 39. FACEBOOK FRIDAY. Praise!

Day 38. Did not want to close out this 40-day series without sharing this one prayer: that my dear friends and family would come to know the living God.

Some people think I am delusional, worshiping a flying spaghetti monster. Others see Jesus as a historical figure, kind of like George Washington. Many have had bad church experience, or simply find God irrelevant. I know. I was there. I wish I could tell you what it was that triggered me to go looking for God nine years ago. Looking back, things at the time seemed pretty good… you know, getting up each day, trying to live the American dream.

But what I can tell you is this… once I started looking for Jesus, he found me. Not in some blaze of glory, but in a more intimate, personal setting. A relationship. A living relationship. So my prayer today is not that you will go running off to church or join a mission or even that you will come to share my beliefs. My prayer today is simple. That those closest to me can open their heart and take the time to seek.

Day 37. Sometimes a tidal wave of calmness, harmony, stillness and tranquility comes at me with such incredible force. At times when needed most. I give thanks for peace.

Day 36. His name is Jesus. When I seek him out directly, he never judges me. He always saves me. Always. He is everything to me. My King. My Lord. My God.

Day 35. Alone. Perhaps no other feeling conveys such dread. For those who feel the pangs of isolation… in body, thought or spirit… our hope and prayer is that you will discover your connection. Peace.

Day 34. It can express empathy, unity and excellence. Joy, sympathy or romance. An eternal bond between two people shared through a single embrace. Today, I give thanks for the << hug >>.

Day 33. Facebook Friday: PRAYER. For the grace to do God's will for me, even when I don't want to...

Day 32. 3,000 days ago, the holy spirit whispered into my heart. Perhaps that voice was always there… maybe I just allowed myself to listen. In any case, I praise God for the breath of life.

Prior posts in this series start here.

three days

2010-03-28T19:59:00.003-04:00

The events of Holy Week are well documented.

Palm Sunday.

The Last Supper and the Garden.

The Passion and Crucifixion.

But in between the time Jesus rode triumphantly into Jerusalem on the back of a donkey and the moment he sat down to break bread with his disciples…

He had three days to work with.

Three days.

Taken together, the final three days of Christ’s ministry on earth say a lot about what mattered most to Jesus.

Love

He healed the blind and the lame, and comforted those who came to him.

With a withered fig tree, he reminded us of the power we have when we stand with God, saying If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.

He met with the chief priests and elders, and responded to their challenges with truth and grace.

He encouraged us with the parable of the two sons – and reminded us that our good deeds bring joy to the Father.

Through the parables of the tenants, he established a new covenant with everyone who follows in his footsteps, saying I tell you, the Kingdom of God will be given to a people who will produce its fruit.

He used the parable of the wedding banquet to caution us of the narrow road ahead, advising that Many are invited, but few are chosen.

He inspired us to keep our eyes focused on the Kingdom of Heaven, proclaiming Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God's.

He gave us great hope in the here and now through a lesson on marriage and the resurrection, reminding us He is not the God of the dead but of the living.

He provided us a simple blueprint on how to live our lives, in what has become known as the great commandment:

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.

He spoke out against the dangers of hypocrisy and those who do not practice what they preach. He set a new world order, where whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

He reset the bar on giving, highlighting the actions of a widow, who put in everything – all she had to live on.

He comforted his followers, giving us clear signs of what to expect at the end of the age.

He took away our fears, reminding us that he will come again – arriving on the clouds of the sky with power and great glory.

He reminded us to be vigilant and stay alert, as the day and the hour of His return would be unknown.

He filled us with hope, saying: Angels will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other.

For he did not come to judge the world, but to save it.

He told us what the Kingdom of Heaven will be like. Through the parable of the ten virgins, he taught us how to prepare.

He invited us to use our gifts in abundance with the parable of the talents.

He was anointed with oil… in a beautiful act of love and devotion.

He reminded us that the day will come when we stand before God and he will say to those on his right: Come who are blessed by my Father, take your inheritance… the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.

For I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat.

I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink.

I was a stranger and you invited me in.

I needed clothes and you clothed me.

I was sick and you looked after me.

I was in prison and you came to visit me.

He invited us… the faithful and righteous… to join him in eternal life.

This all occurred in between the time Jesus rode triumphantly into Jerusalem on the back of a donkey, and the moment he sat down to break bread with his disciples.

Three days.

Love.

yes, still more 40

2010-03-24T06:27:00.002-04:00

i am gaining more appreciation for 40, now where did we leave off...

Day 31. Unexpected twists and turns add depth to our lives, fuel emotions and embolden our humanity. I give thanks for surprises.

Day 30. My heavenly father has placed eternity on my heart. Praise to the God of Abraham, the God of Jacob, the God of Moses, the God of David, the God of Mary, the God of Ed.

Day 29. Are you willing to ask for help? The big lie is that I can maintain control, that I always know best, that I can handle whatever comes my way alone. I pray that I could be more willing to seek help.

Day 28. Teacher, coach, mentor, tutor, rabbi… your unselfish giving helps us all go further. Hurrah!

Day 27. FACEBOOK FRIDAY. Task: write a note of thanks.

Day 26. Pray for pa ENTER. Pray for pati ENTER. Pray for patien ENTER. Pray for patience. WHEW!

Day 25. Two words for Tommy and Willie: Thank you.

Day 24. Any relationship that instills true hope is worthy of our praise.

Day 23. Please join me in prayer for those out of work. May you take pride in your endeavors today and find everything you seek. Enjoy the ride, for peace and security are on the way.

Day 22. The grandiose epic adventures that take place within a nine-minute snooze-alarm interval are so cool. I am thankful for dreamin'.

Day 21. Facebook Friday: PRAISE to Tony Bennet, TK, Michael Steer and more!

more 40...

2010-03-11T06:28:00.002-05:00

Picking up from here...

Day 20. A few words for those dealing with breast cancer: Fight. Accept. Cherish. Hope. Share. Believe. Persevere. Ignore. Ask. Love. Pray. Conquer.

Day 19. Sometimes you discover the most amazing things later in life. Thankfully, the sinless pleasure of low-fat ice cream no longer eludes me.

Day 18. The never-ending creativity so evident in our universe can not but inspire us to create ourselves. Praise to the architect, painter, writer, sculptor, designer, engineer, cinematographer, programmer, musician, carpenter and artist in all of us.

Day 17. The hateful discrimination against gay men and women sickens me to no end. Today’s prayers are for acceptance, understanding and most of all, love.

Day 16. Whatever "it" is... I can't do it without constant reminders, prodding, questions and scolding. A big thank you to everyone who holds me accountable.

Day 15. Facebook Friday: PRAYER. For the lonliness of chemo, the unexpected loss of a brother, the pains of cancer and facing a friend who just found out everything is about to change. We pray for healing, comfort, wisdom. We pray for peace.

more thanks, praise and prayer

2010-03-04T21:16:00.002-05:00

Picking up from last week...

Day 14. If there were a ‘supreme being’, the world created would be beyond my grasp. I would look around, unable to understand the how, impossible to fathom the why. That would be worthy of my praise.

Day 13. Gentle melodies. Precise harmonies. Penetrating lyrics. Artful perfection. Music transforms the world. If you can sing in key, keep a beat, play a note or strike a chord, I humbly say thank you. You have reached my soul.

Day 12. The truth can hurt, it can sting… even convict. And yet I praise God for truth. For when embraced, truth can show the way, melt away worry, and instill value and acceptance in everything it encounters. It can set you free.

Day 11. Options and uncertainty can add anxiety and frustration to any decision. Today, my prayer is that you find direction, see the way and gain the clarity of vision you need to act with confidence.

Day 10. I praise love. Love is patient and kind. It doesn’t envy or boast. Love is never prideful, rude, self-seeking or easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love rejoices with the truth. It always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres.

Day 9. Facebook Friday: THANKS. Response include: underground power lines, blessings, Facebook!, the President, Uncle Roy, family and friends, a loving God, clean clothes, tolenant spouses and NO SNOW!

Day 8. I walked away from an alcohol-induced crash eight years ago (my car? not so lucky.) Others may be on the verge of spinning out, without us knowing. I pray today for strength. Keep your hands on the wheel. Trust the road. For one more day. Then one more after that.

Day 7. I am thankful for moments of unexpected connection. How a random smile from a stranger can validate that you are not alone, we all mean something and everything will be OK.

40 days of thanks, prayer and praise

2010-02-23T20:17:00.002-05:00

Recently have been "micro-blogging" via my facebook status. To prepare my heart, mind and soul for the celebration of Good Friday and Easter, am in the midst of "40 days of thanks, prayer and praise".

What I like about Facebook is that it allows my friends from all walks of life (and all walks of faith) to connect. You are joining this show in progress...

Day 6. On days like today, when I do not have the strength or desire to forgive myself, I can only sit in awe of God’s mercy – and how it flows with no limit. Praise the Lord!

Day 5. Let’s pray for the healers. Doctors, social workers, ministers, nurses, counselors – heal our bodies, our relationships, our spirits. May you persevere and find great joy in your work.

Day 4. My sword and shield serve as both trade and hobby, with the power to compel, entertain, unite and divide. Born from heart and mind, few gifts are as versatile or everlasting. Today I give thanks for the written word.

Day 3. Eyes open, I was struck by the beauty of this world. Snow radiating from treetops in the morning light. Shapes. Colors. Patterns. The ways depth and dimension dance while in motion. Praise to the Lord for beauty.

Day 2. A friend did not want to get out of bed this morning. He suffers from depression and that makes my heart ache. So I pray that he be blessed with courage. The courage to take one small step, so that one step may lead to another, until he is walking, running, flying, soaring.

Day 1. Yesterday’s tomorrow offers a clean slate, new hope. The confidence of the rising sun reminds me that I can still become the man I want to be. I am thankful for the fresh start. I give thanks for today.

the truth shall set you free

2010-02-08T10:24:00.003-05:00

In the Book of Samuel, one thing becomes clear early on.

There is always someone ready to step up. Someone is always willing to do it God’s way. When one person stumbles and falls, another is already standing tall. Eli, Samuel, Saul, David.

The question, of course, why not me?

Why am I not the one who is willing to do it God’s way? Why do I always play the part of the one who stumbles and falls, and never the one who stands tall?

What would I need to give up in order to do it God’s way?

• regret
• selfishness
• anger
• pride
• laziness
• close-mindedness
• over-indulgence

Honestly, there is nothing on this list I want to keep. I want to be free.

Today’s a good day to be free.

.

Reading Samuel and Samuel 2

2010-02-01T11:21:00.002-05:00

Have spent the last few months with the Books of Samuel.

Here are the facts: these readings make be less excited about David, less excited about the Bible and less excited about God.

While I would prefer to leave these behind me and start something new, I feel compelled to go back to the beginning and start reading anew.

Any thoughts, guidance, resources, tips most welcome.

it's thursday

2010-01-07T20:56:00.001-05:00

are you out of work? do you have family or friends who are frustrated by unemployment? Come pray with me.

my 2010 list

2010-01-04T09:02:00.000-05:00

1. make a list

just for a moment...

2009-12-24T07:56:00.002-05:00

I have been reading Samuel and 2 Samuel over the past few weeks, and to be honest I just don’t get it. When I finish, will have to go back and start over. If the Lord wants to speak to me through these words I obviously need to listen a little more closely.

My reaction so far: if these books were made into a movie it would be called Boys Will Be Boys. Senseless violence. Petty revenge. Hurtful words. Pillage and take what you want. It’s like The Sopranos on steroids.

And in the midst of all these, you find these words. Nathan’s revelation.

The LORD himself will establish a house for you: When your days are over and you rest with your fathers, I will raise up your offspring to succeed you, who will come from your own body, and I will establish his kingdom. He is the one who will build a house for my Name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever. I will be his father, and he will be my son. When he does wrong, I will punish him with the rod of men, with floggings inflicted by men. But my love will never be taken away from him, as I took it away from Saul, whom I removed from before you. Your house and your kingdom will endure forever before me; your throne will be established forever.

After a moment of prayer and celebration, David goes on to defeat the Moabites. He made them lie down on the ground and measured them off with a length of cord. Every two lengths of them were put to death, and the third length was allowed to live. After all, boys will be boys.

In any case, this passage made me think about Christmas. In the midst of mortgage payments, office politics, competition and ambition, God interjects himself so we can gather for a moment of prayer and celebration. Each year our Lord reminds us that he kept his promise, that a kingdom awaits us, and that we his people will ensure forever.

Now I just hope I don’t run into any Moabites tomorrow.

Peace and joy to you.

Ed G

just wondering...

2009-12-11T11:45:00.002-05:00

Are the people who complain that Christians behave one way on Sunday morning and another way the rest of the week…

... also the same people who complain whenever someone says a prayer or brings up faith in a business or secular setting?

soar on wings like eagles

2009-12-10T14:04:00.001-05:00

I have a few friends who suffer from chronic depression. Some of these friends are only teenagers… a time of life that is supposed to be carefree and happy. Please join me for a moment of prayer today over at Daily Prayer.

be sharp

2009-12-07T22:00:00.002-05:00

As iron sharpens iron,
so one man sharpens another.

Every Wednesday, we have a regularly scheduled conference call at work to review the status of a particular project. In a way, this quick update meeting is designed to hold people accountable for their prior follow-ups. So it’s not surprising that there is always a flurry of emails and activities on Tuesday afternoon. No one wants to be unprepared.

Another project I am working on involves a written report every month. We prepare the report well before month end so there will be time to work on any items that somehow slipped through the cracks. In a way, the report holds us accountable.

While reports and meetings work in the business world, when it comes to our journeys with Christ we must rely on one another. Our relationships hold us accountable.

I was reminded of this fact last week when I received an email from my friend TK asking if I was available for lunch.

Now to be clear – there was no hidden agenda in TK’s invitation. This was not a status meeting. No written reports were expected. My guess is that the only expectation would be for some friendly chit chat. And some lunch.

Any yet, this simple lunch invitation led to a series of actions on my part.

You see, I had previously told TK that I was going to reach out to a mutual friend, but the two of us had not yet connected. So I got off my butt, contacted this person and we had coffee this week.

I had also made a commitment to myself to get involved in a community service project this month – so I scheduled that in advance of my lunch as well.

That’s two things that I had been putting off for no good reason—now done. All because a friend sent a simple email inviting me to lunch.

Funny, isn’t it, that we can hold each other accountable without even thinking about it. You just need to invite someone into your life.

our forgotten prayers

2009-12-03T14:39:00.002-05:00

It's amazing how easy it is to forget the pain and hurt when it is no longer in your face. Won't you join me today over at Daily Prayer?

giving thanks for the light

2009-11-26T09:12:00.003-05:00

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men.

We swam last night under a star-lit night in what is called the luminous lagoon.

Our local friend Sean had promised that it would be unlike anything we had experienced before and his words held true. This particular lagoon is inhabited by millions of microorganisms called dinoflagellate, which glow whenever the water is disturbed.

Wading in the water, we saw that when you move arm, twitch a finger, kick a leg or simple wiggle a toe, each movement creates a bright glow. From total darkness, movement creates light.

So on this day of thanksgiving, I hope you can join me in the two prayers:

One, that we all can keep our eyes open today to witness the amazing world God has created for us… a world filled with awe, wonder and mystery.

And second, that we can all move beyond the waters of a luminous lagoon to create light right where we are right now – through our words, our deeds, our action and movement – and take away the darkness in someone’s life.

O heavenly Father, we give you praise.
Thank you O Lord for the peace, joy and mysteries of life.
Thank you O Lord for the Word that enables us to become children of the light.

Amen.

just a little bit louder now...

2009-11-19T06:46:00.001-05:00

You can join me in prayer today over at Daily Prayer.

working on a dream

2009-11-09T11:19:00.004-05:00

There were no warm up acts.

From the very first note, he held nothing back.

He gritted his teeth and dug in immediately, his inner energy taking control. He grimaced and his voice strained. Then he dug even deeper… reached far… and touched those around him on an emotional level. It was still the first song.

I like to ease into my work day. Power up the laptop. A cup of coffee. Perhaps some surfing before even looking at the to-do list. After opening a file, maybe I’ll enjoy a banana.

But not this guy. From the first note, he was giving his all.

There were no breaks between songs. No wardrobe changes. No snacks. No intermissions. Just as the final notes of one song echoed off the ceiling, he turned and said “one, two, three, four” and he was off again, finding some way to push it even harder. Again. And again. He came onto the stage at 8:30 last night. He did not stop playing, singing, engaging, dancing, energizing, living, connecting for the next three hours. By 11:40, he had performed 32 emotionally draining songs. His work was done.

And as I stood there, I wondered what my life would be like if I came to work with that that same “give it everything you’ve got” attitude?

My clients would notice.

And then I looked into heaven, and wondered what the world would be like if I approached my walk with Christ with that same focus, that same drive, that same level of non-stop energy. That same sense of purpose. What if I dug deep and held nothing back.

It can be done. It really can.

Jesus did it. And all he asks is for us to follow.

It can be done. It really can. I even know people who have.

People who don’t need to ease into acts of love. People who don’t take breaks, people who are servants of Christ from the moment they wake up until the day ends. People who find ways to dig deeper. Engage. Energize. Live. Connect.

It can be done. It really can.

Follow.

follow

2009-11-05T20:28:00.002-05:00

Many visitors here will be familiar with Kansas Bob.

He writes about his walk with Christ at An Eye for Redemption, and provides insights into the inane and insane at Kansas Bob. His third blog is called Daily Prayer.

His last post at Daily Prayer is republished here:

One year ago today I sat in a hospital room watching my wife Ann receive a chemotherapy treatment. Feeling a bit prayerful I started a new blog and called it Daily Prayer. Now 52 weeks and 187 posts later I find that I no longer post there every day. I still regularly pray but don't always feel like writing about what I pray.

So I thought that I would invite you to write a prayer or devotional thought on prayer to be posted there with a link back to your blog. I would also be open to making it a group authored site if anyone would commit to posting once a week. If you are interested please email me and let me know how you would like to be involved.

Tonight I joined Bob in his endeavor. I mention that here not so that you will offer kudos -- but that you will join me. You can contact Kansas Bob directly.

thursday randomness

2009-10-08T09:29:00.002-04:00

Can one letter make a big difference? Consider...

Give me everything.
Give my everything.

Misreading this one word made me think about why Christ chose the tyrant Saul to become the apostle Paul. Some people are just wired to give everything... all they need is direction. Makes me wonder whether I've included my "highly driven" friends on my prayer list...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I have probably said the Lord's prayer thousands of times in my life, and there has been one line that I've sometimes had trouble with. When I've prayed "give us our daily bread" I've been asking the Lord to take care of me and my family. Lord, give us food, clothing, shelter. Let my business prosper. Give me, Lord, what I need. And to be honest, sometimes I've felt selfish saying that part of the Lord's prayer.

Last week I was listening to Michael W Smith's song, Breathe. It includes the following verse:

This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very word spoken to me

Today, when I said the Lord's prayer, I prayed that I would hear and feel his word. That did not seem selfish at all.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I am a creature of routine and habit... so it's not surprising that a four-day golf trip with the guys managed to put me off kilter. Each day I was away, I could see my "good habits" (Bible reading, prayer time, eating well, exercising) slowly slipping away. Now that I am home, still not back on track. Can't wait for Monday.

mind lovin' -- part two

2009-09-22T12:23:00.002-04:00

Perhaps you can file this under strange… or not.

About two weeks ago, I began to notice a ringing in my ears. A steady high-pitched tone.

Now for the most part, I do not hear this ‘ringing’ constantly, but I quickly realized that I could focus and bring this tone to the forefront whenever I wanted to. Like it was always there, but I rarely noticed it unless I focused my attention.

Once in a while, it would find its way into my head on its own accord. Often, while I was in prayer. Or reading scripture.

Not surprisingly, I’ve come to associate this tone with the presence of God. Much of the time it is silent, my attention elsewhere. There are times when it comes into my head, drawing my attention to the Lord. And there are times when I go “looking for it” – quickly comforted by its presence.

I hear it now, loudly, and it makes me smile.
.

mind lovin' - part one

2009-09-16T09:26:00.002-04:00

Love the Lord your God with all your mind.

When the NFL schedule comes out, you scan down week by week and look for the easy games… the ones where you can count on your team coming out on top.

A month ago, when I decided to spend some time meditating on Mark 12: 28-30, my eyes immediately jumped down to this segment “with all your mind”. Sure, I could struggle through that whole heart and soul thing, but once we came to “mind” I would be in my natural environment. It would be an easy win.

After all, I am a “mind guy”. Love to think, imagine, strategize, calculate, create. Left side or right, take your pick. Find the needle in the haystack, see the forest despite all them trees. I couldn’t wait to come here and share with you what it means to love the Lord with all your mind. An epic series for sure. Three posts, maybe more.

And yet…

For a week now, I’ve sat before the Lord and pondered what it means to love God with all my mind, and I’ve come up empty. No words of inspiration, no free-flowing prose. Another day would come and go. Nothing to share with you again.

And then this morning, my eyes opened.

My mind belongs to me. It is mine. It is the one place I can go to get away. I can be sitting with you having an intelligent conversation and be two other places at the same time. Mental multi-tasking. I reflect, project, think, ponder, fantasize and analyze… and it’s the only thing I can call my own.

Sure, I invite God in. Most of my conversations with Father, Christ and Spirit are voiceless. Even when praying intently, though, I’ll catch myself having two or three other streams of thought happening at the same time. It’s also where I go to hide and get away when so moved. It’s my safe place. And I don’t want to give it away.

So tonight I am going to reflect on another passage in Mark, now seen under a new light. It reads: It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.

I’ve never been one hung up on money, but perhaps riches come in many shapes and sizes. If so moved, please feel free to share in what ways are you rich...
.

unfinished business: mark 12: 28-30

2009-09-13T18:29:00.002-04:00

One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"

"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”

Shema Yisrael (Hear, O Israel) are the first words of a section of the Torah that is a centerpiece of the morning and evening Jewish prayer service. You can imagine Joseph teaching his son this prayer early in his young life. It is a prayer that Jesus, a devout Jew, may have recited 20,000 times in his life… probably more.

In this prayer, the word LOVE is mentioned once. GOD twice. And the word LORD three times. One word, however, is repeated four times in this two sentence prayer. The word, perhaps, that ensures this is a never-ending journey and not something we can simply cross off our to-do list. A life-long mission known as ALL.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.

The conversation cited above between Jesus and the teacher of the law took place two days after Jesus arrived triumphantly in Jerusalem. Two days before his last supper. And I wonder today, whether Jesus – who lived a perfect life – had yet to complete his life-long journey himself. While the Gospel records how he had loved the Lord, his Father, with his heart, soul, mind and strength over his three year ministry, something was still missing. ALL.

So let’s look at what Jesus does next.

He loved the Lord with ALL his heart.
At dinner, Jesus announced that one among his inner circle would betray him. As heartbreaking as that must have been, he then added that his best friend, his right hand man, would disown him. Jesus responds by giving thanks and praise to God.

He lover the Lord with ALL his soul.
In the Garden called Gethsemane, Jesus fell to the ground in prayer, his soul overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Devastated, he closed his conversation with God with four words that sealed his fate: thy will be done.

He loved the Lord with ALL his mind.
Standing before Pilate, Jesus heard the false testimony against him. Accusations and contradictions. With any outburst, perhaps he could have saved his life. To the amazement of all, he remained true to God and made no reply—not even to a single charge.

He loved the Lord with ALL his strength.
Already exhausted in the garden, Jesus would not sleep. He would subject himself to beatings, forty lashes and a crown of thorns. Carrying his own cross, he went out to the place of the Skull to be crucified.

Every morning and every evening for most of his 33 years on earth, Jesus prayed the Shema. Twenty-thousand times he recited 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’

And here, at the peak of Golgatha, his journey came to a close. He had absolutely nothing left to give God. He had given it all.

A destination achieved, a life-ling prayer fulfilled, he looked up to heaven. Fittingly, he final words convey so much. “It is finished.”
.
.
.
.
Are you ready to follow Jesus’ example? Are you ready to give your all?

soul lovin’ – part three

2009-09-10T14:19:00.002-04:00

My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.

In the place called Gethsemane, Peter, James and John stood watch while Jesus fell to the ground and prayed. One friend had betrayed him, another about to deny him, a night and day of humiliation, torture and death before him. And Jesus’ soul was overwhelmed.

Reading this passage this morning, it dawned on me that Jesus must have been physically drained as he headed to the garden. When you consider the events of that week, it’s not surprising. His three disciples could not even keep their eyes open; time and again the heaviness of sleep overcame them. Jesus must have been exhausted too… and yet no sleep would come until he closed his eyes in victory on the cross. Tired, and yet his work not yet begun.

Physically weary, emotionally shaken. And yet, at this critical crossroads, the gospel writes about something much deeper – his soul.

I wonder if I could get to a point where my soul is overwhelmed by anything… joy, love, sorrow, grief. Perhaps to reach your “all” you first need to go all in.

Love the Lord your God with all your soul.

soul lovin’ – part two

2009-09-02T09:47:00.002-04:00

Love the Lord your God with all your soul.

In response to an earlier post, Bob O’Kansas remarks: I sometimes think that it means to love God with our whole being.

Our whole being.

A few months back in church (of all places) there was a moment, albeit brief, where I felt that I was loving God with my whole being.

Normally, there is a time during Sunday service for music. Each week is different, but most times there’s a segment of three or four songs – it could be a rock band or a simple guitar. Sometimes a flute. Usually contemporary… once in a while a rap.

On this particular Sunday, Sam played and sang alone. He played one song, that I recall had one line of lyrics, and he played this combination of notes, interspersed with that one line of singing, for thirty minutes. Maybe forty.

The first three minutes were interesting. Then it got weird. It was time for the next song, one with some more lyrics perhaps, but Sam continued to play the same notes. Sing the same line of praise. Over. And over.

It soon became uncomfortable, and my eyes scooted around the room. I was clearly not alone.

But after another five minutes something strange happened. I decided to just go with it. And I focused my attention to the notes. Each note. And the combinations. And the vibrations that echoed from the guitar. And I loved the Lord.

Bob says to love the lord with our whole being, and in this case I could feel the moment taking over… through my body. My limbs. The hairs on my head and the tips of my toes. The blood pouring through my veins.

And as the moment continued, the discomfort faded. And for one moment, I could feel the individual cells in my body dancing, dancing in praise for God, each individual living cell, like this massive orchestra, a million strong, singing together – praise and glory to God.

Praise and glory to God.

This morning I tried to recapture that moment. Didn’t get there 100%, but closer than I’ve been in a while.

Go ahead… try loving the Lord your God with all your soul today.

.

soul lovin' -- part one

2009-09-01T09:23:00.002-04:00

Love the Lord your God with all your soul.

My earliest concept of the human soul was framed by my first grade teacher, Sister Bernadette Marie.

I remember visualizing the soul as an actual entity, like a spirit or apparition. When we were behaving and free from sin, our soul was pure, white. But when we did something wrong, we added a stain on our souls. Creating black marks, blemishes on eternal life.

As we prepared for confession at the age of eight, we were taught the power of confession. And forgiveness. How we could take our soul in for a wash and come out sparkling white again, no matter how dirty we had gotten.

In some ways, my soul became a scorecard. The place where God kept track of my sins, and where Jesus would apply his loving eraser.

And when we died, our souls would live on… in heaven or hell… depending on how it looked on our final day.

At least that’s what I remember.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Spending some time this week before God, I am trying to focus on my soul… to love God with all of my soul. And it doesn’t quite feel like a scorecard.

One student of the bible writes, “Quite often in everyday language, men get it right about the soul, whereas Theologians miss the mark. Such expressions as.... ‘the poor old soul’... or ‘hundreds of souls perished’ readily convey in the true sense that the reference is to people.

The author continues, noting that the international distress signal, SOS, which some translate as SAVE OUR SOULS, is not a plea to rescue something which is invisible or intangible, but rather to rescue the whole being—that those concerned might hold on to life and be restored alive to loved ones.

Wikepedia also notes that definitions vary within Christian circles.

Other Christians reject the idea of the immortality of the soul, citing the Apostles' Creed's reference to the "resurrection of the body" (the Greek word for body is soma σωμα, which implies the whole person, not sarx σαρξ, the term for flesh or corpse). They consider the soul to be the life force, which ends in death and is restored in the resurrection. Theologian Frederick Buechner sums up this position in his 1973 book Whistling in the Dark: "...we go to our graves as dead as a doornail and are given our lives back again by God (i.e., resurrected) just as we were given them by God in the first place.

Hmmm. More to follow…
.

the eyes of my heart

2009-08-31T10:03:00.000-04:00

fifty feet high
the front row of trees swayed left
the second row leaned right

the first step
in what would become
a most amazing waltz

each individual leave danced
in harmony that exceeded mozart
in grace that exceeded baryshnikov

the late-afternoon sun
reflected the glory that is the Lord
each ray of light focused with intent

large movements intertwined
with a hundred purposeful gestures
to create a moment of magic

a moment, i regret
that words cannot capture
but will remain eternally in my heart

heart lovin’ – part four

2009-08-25T12:00:00.002-04:00

Love the Lord your God with all your heart.

Quick question: Did the angels cry more on Friday or Sunday?

Which events tugged deeper at their hearts… the forty lashes and crown of thorns, the three painful falls, the crucifixion, the spear in the side, darkness, loneliness, despair. Or was it the empty tomb, the resurrection, the victorious morning, the fulfillment, hope and glory?

Did the angels cry more on Friday or Sunday?

Sometimes I pray for God to open the eyes of my heart. To enable me to see as the Lord sees. But I confess that these have been half-hearted prayers. Here’s the truth: the idea of seeing as the Lord sees terrifies me.

Every day our Father in heaven looks down and sees his children hungry, in despair. He sees brother stealing from brother. Sister taking a knife in rage and thrusting it into sister. With his God-sized heart he sees and feels every moment of hurt and heartache. His own children, his creation, inflicting so much pain and suffering on one another. With his eyes so open, how can God even bear to see what he sees in his heart… every moment of every day. And why would I want to see that way… do I really want to open the eyes of my heart? I tremble just thinking about it.

As noted in prior post, I am not really a “feelings” person. But I do often find myself tearing up at movies, dare I say ‘crying’. Interestingly, it’s never the sad moments. When the friends of George Bailey give all they have, when August Rush’s mom and dad see each other from across the park, when Gale Sayers professes his love for Brian Picollo…

Sitting before my creator this morning, it became clear that opening the eyes of my heart would allow me to see more than the despair and darkness I try so desperately to avoid. One could also see love, hope, wonder, appreciation, unexpected joy, peace, satisfaction, amazement and so much more – in ways never before imagined.

When I think about the shape the world is in these days, I see a lot of Fridays. But today I’m thinking that there are far more Sundays out there. And these events are much more impactful. They reach deeper into the heart. And they can easily wash away and overshadow any pain you can ever witness.

Without a doubt, the angels cried more on Sunday. How could they not?

So I’ll pray today with confidence – and not a glint of terror – Lord, open the eyes of my heart.
.

heart lovin' - part three

2009-08-23T19:48:00.002-04:00

Love the Lord your God with all your heart.

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is one of the best known and trusted personality assessments. I participated in a detailed assessment while in corporate America about twenty years ago and just last week took a quickie version on Facebook.

One of the four dichotomies it measures is how you make decisions: by thinking or feeling. Wiki provides a good explanation of these:

Those who prefer thinking tend to decide things from a more detached standpoint, measuring the decision by what seems reasonable, logical, causal, consistent and matching a given set of rules. Those who prefer feeling tend to come to decisions by associating or empathizing with the situation, looking at it 'from the inside' and weighing the situation to achieve, on balance, the greatest harmony, consensus and fit, considering the needs of the people involved.

I am a T. Thinker. Always have been wired that way. Or, as my son would say, that’s how I roll.

So as I ponder Mark 12: 28-30 this afternoon, I can only wonder whether “loving with all your heart” comes more naturally to some people than others – and if so, what implications does that have for my relationship with Jesus Christ?

People talk about ‘heartless’ when describing those who act without feeling or emotion… lacking empathy or compassion. And while I have probably been accused in such words, I feel pretty confident in the fact that I am not totally heartless.

In sports, however, we refer to a player’s heart to describe their enthusiasm and intensity for the game. In a way, a person’s heart can transcend their skills and abilities. When an underdog wins, it’s more often attributed to heart than chance. This morning at church, we were praising God with some arm-waving, foot-stomping intensity, and it was really cool. But I confess that my enthusiasm and intensity waned before I even reached the car. In fact, waned is a definite understatement.

Truth is, when it comes to loving with all my heart, I am less concerned with the thinker-feeling wiring. After all, even the Tin Man got his heart.

But I do often wonder: why am I unable to sustain my enthusiasm and intensity for the God of the universe? Where is my heart?

heart lovin' -- part two

2009-08-20T07:30:00.003-04:00

Love the Lord your God with all your heart.

In kindergarten, the teachers taught us how to make the perfect heart. You start with a piece of pink or red construction paper and fold it in half. Then – and this is the brilliant part – you only need to cut out one side. You unfold your paper and voila – the perfect heart.

The occasion, of course, was Valentine’s day. So as I ponder this morning on what it means to love God with all my heart, a somewhat scary question arises. Is there supposed to be a romantic element to all of this?

Wikipedia talks about romance as a literary genre.

A style of heroic prose… fantastic stories about the marvelous adventures of a chivalrous, heroic knight, often of super-human ability, who often goes on a quest… In later romances, particularly those of French origin, there is a marked tendency to emphasize themes of courtly love, such as faithfulness in adversity.

Hmmm… that certainly seems biblical. Heroism. Quests. Faithfulness in adversity.

But what about romantic love. You know, the mushy kind.

I don’t think I’ve ever been called ‘a romantic’. My wife could probably attest that it’s not something that comes naturally. So I used the google machine this morning to come up with some romantic ideas:

- write a letter to express your love
- don’t make it about how much you spend
- read a love poem
- learn how to say you’re sorry
- hold hands in public
- use candles to create a warm setting

Paul’s letters, David’s poems, confession, public acknowledgement of Christ… romantic?

Let’s try the dictionary.

romance
intransitive verb: to exaggerate or invent detail or incident............. transitive verb: try to curry favor with

This two-sided definition caught my attention – that the work of God is beyond belief. And yet, we are called to love him with all out heart. So where does this net out? Is there supposed to me a romantic element to all of this?

They say everything you need to know is learned in kindergarten. Which brings me back to small hands, construction paper and safety scissors. When it comes to having a romantic relationship with my Lord and God, it seems I only need to deal with my efforts, my intentions, my love. For however I get there… whether I need to draw lines, or settle for crooked cuts, when you unfold the paper and bring God into the equation, you are left with a perfect heart.

So go ahead.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart.
.

heart lovin' -- part one

2009-08-19T08:50:00.007-04:00

Love your God with all your heart.

I remember my mom coming into my room, the crust of sleep still covering my eyes. It was Sunday morning, time for church. My teenage pleas for staying home did not reach sympathetic ears. “You can sacrifice an hour,” my mom would say. “You can sacrifice an hour for God.”

Even while they called it a ‘Celebration of the Eucharist’, spending time before my creator was never positioned as a celebration. It was a sacrifice.

Fast forward thirty-some-odd years. While out visiting my mom for the weekend, each of my three children come to me independently and ask, “Are we going to be home in time for church this evening?”

Celebrate. Love your God with all your heart.

When I thought about hearts and love this morning, one of the first images that came into my mind was the famous I ♥ NY advertising campaign. The ads showed people frolicking at the beach, enjoying a baseball game, absorbing the majesty of a waterfall, soaring through the sky in a hot air balloon. Loving New York didn’t involve a deep emotional commitment. It meant having fun, enjoying the time, liking the experience.

Perhaps loving God with all of your heart needs to start there. You need to like him. Feel the rush. Thoroughly enjoy his presence. It seems strange to write this, but I need to love the Lord the same way I love playing golf, or soccer. The same way I love a nice dinner or a great action flick. With anticipation and self-enjoyment.

Delight yourself in the LORD.

So today as I reflect on what it means to love the Lord with all my heart, here are a few things that delight me.

Sunlight peaking through branches in the morning. When music is playing, I can center my attention on a single instrument, like the strum of a guitar, and actually feeling the vibrations. A cool breeze gently rolls over my shoulder on a hot summer evening, seemingly coming out of no where. While driving on the highway, the way the foreground moves rapidly while the background stays still, and you can adjust from speed to stillness by simply refocusing your eyes. Feeling alone and isolated, someone comes up, smiles and says ‘I’ve missed you so much, let’s have dinner together.” The stillness and peace before falling asleep.

Yes, it’s true. I ♥ God.

If you care to share, I am interested in hearing... what delights you?

re-engaging: mark 12:28-30

2009-08-18T15:30:00.002-04:00

One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"

"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”

> Love with all your heart
> Love with all your soul
> Love with all your mind
> Love with all your strength

Normally, I’ve came away from this passage hearing Jesus say you need to love God with everything you have. And while that is true, this morning my mind began to wonder.

What does it mean to love with your heart? How is that different from loving with your soul? What new perspective comes when you start loving with your mind? What changes when you start loving with your strength?

The Sh'ma Yisroel or just Shema (Deuteronomy 6:4-6) is the centerpiece of the morning and evening Jewish prayer service… a prayer that dates back thousands of years before Christ. And, as this passage from Mark relates, the most important commandment of all.

Over the next few weeks, I’m going to spend some time reflecting on what it means to Love the Lord in these different ways. Let’s see where this goes…

will you stay through the 9th?

2009-06-14T15:51:00.002-04:00

We left the Yankee game on Saturday after the eight inning. Our beloved Yankees were trailing the cross-town Mets 2-6 and from what we had seen so far that day, a 9th inning rally was unlikely. Our lack-of-faith proved accurate as the Yanks went down quietly 1-2-3 as we made it out of the parking lot and were already on our way home.

Sure, it’s possible they could have staged an amazing rally – and we would have missed it by leaving early – it just seemed unlikely.

You see that lack-of-faith among players some times, too. They are so far down in a series or so far behind in a particular game that they just go through the motions… waiting for the clock to run out. The eventual loss is inevitable.

This came to mind this morning as our pastor spoke about the ongoing battle between the spirit and the flesh. What the heart desires vs. the acts of selfishness, laziness and gratification. You see… that battle has been going on daily within me. And the flesh has been on a good winning streak of late. While there have certainly been some victories and runs scored for the spirit, when I look back I get the sense that the flesh has gone undefeated for the past 18 months. That’s 0-18 for the good guys.

What’s worse, I have come to expect defeat. And I start each day waiting for the loss. Going through the motions, in what has become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Losing becomes inevitable. And that kind of thinking only makes the outcome more likely.

I know the momentum can shift at any time. I’m just not helping the cause very much. But I pray that you won’t leave this game before it’s over. Is there any hope for a rally?

low-frustration golf

2009-05-26T21:12:00.002-04:00

We played a golf course yesterday that had five tee boxes, each marked by a different color: gold, green, white, blue and black. From gold, the forward tees, the course plays at 5,188 yards. From the black tee box, what some call “the tips”, the distance is a much more challenging 7,186 yards.

As a golfer, you want to make a choice that is both challenging and fair. You want to stretch your abilities without being aggravated. After all, you're supposed to enjoy the day.

Now I am no Tiger Woods, and playing from the tips would have been a disaster. Moving up to the blue tees would be been easier, but breaking 100 from there is near-impossible for me. At 6,300 yards, however, the white tees gave me a chance to score better than 100… even 90 if everything fell into place. White tees made sense: it promised a challenge without the guaranteed frustration.

Now Michael played with us yesterday, too. He’s a much better golfer than I am, but he has not played much recently so he’s not as sharp. While he could have handled the blue or black distance in his prime, he too chose white for the same reason: it promised a challenge without the guaranteed frustration. Golf is supposed to be fun.

Lately, my walk with Christ has not been so much fun. I’ve been extremely frustrated in my behaviors, my choices – especially compared to where I was three years ago.

And it dawned on me. Maybe I’m playing from the wrong tee box.

A few years ago, I was closer to God. And by letting God into my life, with joy and consistency for several years, he did some amazing things. He could hit the ball long and far. And if his putts didn’t fall in, they came pretty close to the hole.

Then I stopped playing. My time with God became less frequent, less purposeful. And my “game” got rusty.

Then this day comes when you decide to get back in the game. So you pick up your clubs and head for “the tips” just like the old days. And your drive goes into the woods. Your recovery shot bounces off the fairway. The approach shot lands in the river. The chip flies over the green. And putting? The first one short, the second long and the third rims out. And if these golf terms don’t make sense to you, trust me that the frustration level is extremely high.

So you put down your sticks. Walk away. And a few weeks later you get the urge to try again… with the same results. And the frustration only increases. An endless cycle? Maybe not.

As a Christian, you want to make choices that are both challenging and fair. You want to stretch your abilities without being frustrated. You should enjoy your walk with Christ.

For me, that means spending more time with God. Being more purposeful in prayer and scripture. Giving up a little more control each day. Giving Jesus a chance to work through me. And knowing that this may not happen overnight...

In the interim, I’m going to move up to the forward tees. Play within my game. And start to have some fun again.

what did you do with the peace?

2009-05-14T17:19:00.003-04:00

Two pastors from Kenya are visiting our church, and last night they spoke about their ministry. The work they are doing is inspirational—and the lengths they will go to reach people with the good news of Jesus Christ is simply amazing.

They spoke about being stoned because they believed in Christ. They showed a video of 5,000 people attacking their church, injuring many. They spoke of gun shots. Wives being kicked out of their homes because they had faith in Jesus. Brothers hunting down brothers who converted to Christianity. Having no rights, no protection. They talked about persecution and suffering.

And above all – the great joy in which they served the Lord.

Toward the end of the evening, pastor Guerim read from the book of Acts.

In many ways, members of the early church were like these pastors from Africa. Persecuted. Attacked. Hunted. Here in America, they noted, we have peace. Here in America, these two pastors do not wake up and pray for protection, as they have every day for years. They are safe. A time of peace. And so he read Acts 9:31.

Then the church throughout Judea, Galilee and Samaria enjoyed a time of peace. It was strengthened; and encouraged by the Holy Spirit, it grew in numbers, living in the fear of the Lord.

When the early church enjoyed a time of peace, Guerim noted, they did not sit by idly, content to worship the Lord. They were strengthened. They were encouraged. And they used this time to do amazing things—to grow in numbers.

When the time comes and we face the Lord on judgment day, Pastor Guerim believes Americans will be asked a question unlike the questions asked of he and his African brothers.

We will be asked – what did you do with the peace?

friday fun... it's torture

2009-05-01T16:22:00.002-04:00

Was reading a CNN report on a survey, which concluded that the more often Americans go to church, the more likely they are to support the torture of suspected terrorists.

Then this memory popped into my head from my early teens of my mom saying "if i can sit through an hour of church, so can you."

simply beyond words

2009-04-27T12:14:00.004-04:00

My friend TK introduced me to what is known as "the wordless bible".

In simplest terms, it is the story of our salvation -- or more specifically, my salvation. I started to carry this book in my wallet. Five pages. No words.

It starts with the story of a glorious gift... a personal relationship with a loving God and creator. A moment that turns to darkness when when I turn my back on God and reject him through my words, my thoughts, my actions. That is not the end of the story, though, as someone else paid the price for my misgivings. Jesus gave his life on the cross for me. And since the moment I accepted this gift... this fresh start... this cleansing love... I have been able to grow in a more meaningful, personal relationship with God and his people.

From what I have heard, this wordless bible is used in countries where carrying a bible in public could be dangerous... and it is also used to introduce children to the amazing story of God's love. But somehow... the simplicity works wonders for me too.

protect traditional marriage

2009-04-23T10:54:00.003-04:00

Yesterday four thousand people packed the Augusta Civic Center to offer their opinions on a bill that would legalize divorce—a bill that will soon make its way through the Maine House and Senate. If it passes and is signed by the governor, Maine would become the second state to legalize divorce through the legislative process. This is in addition to the three other states were divorce has been declared legal through the courts.

Not surprising, conservatives and some religious groups are up in arms about current events. This past November, a group funded in no small way by a Utah-based church helped gather the support needed to overturn a prior court ruling that had legalized divorce in California

Recently, the National Association for Marriage, a nonprofit organization with a mission to protect marriage and the faith communities that sustain it, released an advertisement on this very issue:

“There’s a storm gathering. The clouds are dark and the winds are strong and I am afraid. Some who advocate for legalized divorce have taken the issue far beyond unhappy couples. They want to bring the issue into my life. My freedom will be taken away. I’m a California lawyer who must choose between my faith and my job. I’m part of a New Jersey church group punished by the government because we can’t support divorce. I’m a Massachusetts parent helpless watching public schools teach my son that divorce is okay. But some who advocate same divorce have not been content with unhappy couples simply separating. Those advocates want to change the way I live. I will have no choice. The storm is coming. But we have hope, a rainbow coalition of people of every creed and color are coming together in love to protect marriage.”

Clearly, there is clear biblical justification for the anti-divorce movement.

Matthew 19:6
“So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Matthew 19: 8-9
Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."

As for me, I do not think you can legislate morality. While I don’t agree that divorce is right, I don’t see why it is my place to keep to people who obviously don’t love each other bound by marriage.

I know my life is different today than the time before I became a Christian – and the difference was not caused because someone else telling me what I can and cannot do. The difference was caused by me developing a personal relationship with God.

When I think about how Jesus wants me to respond to this whole issue of legalized divorce, I can’t help by think about a verse in Galatians: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Against such thing there is no law. Instead of running around trying to tell people whether it’s ok for them to get divorced, I prefer to work on relationships with the people in my circles… and tell them more about how I came to know Jesus.

Hopefully, we will come to a point where divorce is legal in all 50 states so we can begin to have more meaningful discussions.

aren't we all hannah montana?

2009-04-21T20:56:00.002-04:00

In its first ten days, the new Hannah Montana movie grossed over $50 million. For the past three years, the Emmy-nominated television series has set records on the Disney Channel. And sold-out concert tours have led to families spending $1,000 per ticket to see a single performance.

Leading her double-life as pop-star Hannah Montana and average-joe Miley Stewart, the title characters sings that she has the best of both worlds. The fame and rewards of stardom along with the privacy and intimacy of a normal home life.

And is it any wonder that this story-line is so popular? We all lead two lives. And hope that the worlds never collide.

You see this in politics. While at a San Francisco meeting with his core supporters, Barack Obama talks about how small-town voters cling to certain narrow-minded issues in elections. While he highlights his support for the second amendment and faith-based programs when campaigning in those same towns himself.

You see this in baseball. Commission Selig and leading players talk about respect for the sport while doing nothing of substance to rid the sport of substances that have led to record-breaking home run records and attendance.

You see this in business, where companies tout merit and achievement while advancement and opportunity is often based on relationships and connections.

Everyone prospers. Everyone gets the best of both worlds.

And yet, the tag line for the latest Hannah Montana movie cause me to pause.

She has the best of both worlds... now, she has to pick just one.

I haven’t seen the movie, but I surmise that Miley reaches a junction when a choice has to be made. She can no longer be a no-name high-schooler by day and international pop star by night.

After all, this fantasy … that you can constantly pass from one world to the other… effortlessly and without consequences is just that… a fantasy.

It’s the fantasy I live as a Christian. And my guess is that I won’t know the time or hour when my junction meets me. Who knows what world I’ll be in that day.

the light is still on

2009-04-05T20:26:00.002-04:00

have not spent much time here over the past few weeks... i look forward to catching up with your journeys soon. excited about this week, with good friday and easter. a celebration of victory if ever there was one.

while i have not been as attentive here, have been very intentional this lenten season of reaching up and reaching out--spending more time in scripture, prayer, sitting quietly before god and just being aware of the person sitting across from me. have also been working on trying to smile more -- to let the joy in my heart be seen on my face. (i can hear the voice of my 8th grade english teacher as i write this, "gillespie, do you ever smile?")

work has been very busy (a blessing, in many ways) but i have too many kingdom-oriented projects that are sitting by idly as a result. i can and should be doing more -- and i will.

so just wanted to say i miss you -- and will visit soon. until then, may your days be filled with an abundance of joy, for the Christ has risen. Just for you.

blog habits

2009-03-15T21:35:00.003-04:00

technology makes it easy to keep in touch with blogging friends. you can "follow" people. you can "subscribe" to rss feeds. you can even "twitter". or have fresh blog posts "fowarded" right to your inbox.

as one who got rid of his blackberry in 2004, i must confess that none of those apply to me.

i prefer to simply click through on my blog roll (listed as more journeys). i kind of think of it as knocking on a neighbor's door. sometimes no one is home. days (weeks) might go by without a new diary, and you wonder... how are they... is everything ok... i hope their life is full of joy today.

and other times you are surprised by a new posting. the latest insights. a personal story. you can smell it when you click through. like a bouquet of garden flowers. a fresh pot of coffee. and hot-from-the-oven cookies, all rolled into one. before i read a single word i am already smiling.

so the question for you... how did you get here today? did you follow, click, link... or was it just a knock?

hate the sin, love the sinner

2009-03-10T11:47:00.002-04:00

While this phrase was coined by a Hindu, it has been picked up and preached in Christian circles.

Hate the sin, love the sinner.

Do you know what this really is? Just another excuse to hate. Instead of saying I hate gays, I hate people involved in abortion, I hate people who cheat on taxes, I hate liberals, I hate people who are not just like me... we find ways to justify ourselves.

Let's put a biblical slant on it. Let's be righteous. Let's be compassionate.

Hate the sin, lover the sinner.

Do you know what that really is? Hate.

I heard that line in church a few weeks ago (not from the preacher) and it got me thinking. Even went so far as to search the word "hate" in the Bible. And you know what?

Jesus never preached a message of hate. Here's what Jesus said:

You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.

Jesus preached a message of love. Love. Love. Love.

So maybe next time, when someone hides behind Christ in the name of hate, I'll have enough courage to speak up. Even if someone hates me for it.

thursday ramblings

2009-03-05T22:22:00.003-05:00

Light may be most beautiful when you can see each individual component -- but most useful when each part comes together.

Jesus said, "Why do you call me 'Lord, Lord' and do not do what I say?" To which I reply, "Good question."

I was pulled from a deep sleep at exactly 5:30am. The alarm clock was never set. Later my wife felt a sudden urge to reach for her ear, just in time to catch an earning that had fallen. It's so totally cool when God is in the house.

On Tuesday I heard the birds singing in the morning. They sing every day. Tuesday I just heard them.

Today was more purposeful than yesterday. Tomorrow's looking pretty good.

where is your wind blowing?

2009-02-25T07:18:00.003-05:00

Hurricanes and cyclones revolve around their own center -- drawing everything in to meet their demands for strength and power -- leaving a path of destruction in their wake.

Compare that to a flower -- where gentle breezes take away their most precious assets, their seeds -- in the process creating new life.

We can pull everything towards ourselves... or we can give it away.

the face of liberty

2009-02-22T19:34:00.005-05:00

They that can give up essential liberty

to obtain a little temporary safety,

deserve neither liberty or safety.
Benjamin Franklin

My family spent a few days in Philadelphia this past week. The town where Thomas Jefferson penned the Declaration of Independence and James Madison wrote the U.S. Constitution knows a few things about liberty, which Webster’s defines as “the quality or state of being free.”

The U.S. Mint, situated on the north end of Independence Mall, engraves the word LIBERTY on every coin they produce. And of course, there is the Liberty Bell.

The first thing that struck me about the Liberty Bell was its imperfections. The surface area is anything but smooth, and is marked instead by dents, welts, swells, patches and bumps. The rim, which one would expect to be sharp and circular, is rough and chiseled. This clarion of freedom… which assembled the masses in 1776, harked the end of slavery in the late 1800s and echoed the voices of the suffragettes in the 20th Century… appears flawed, damaged and defective. And did I mention that crack?

Yet this cast of copper and zinc is treasured. Patriots hid it under church floors during the Revolutionary War to protect it from the British army. It has traveled from coast to coast. A million people come each year to stand in its presence. To read the verse from Leviticus inscribed on its crown: proclaim LIBERTY throughout the land unto all Inhabitants thereof.

When you get up close you see that liberty doesn’t look pretty. It appears flawed. Chiseled. Cracked. And yet it is perfect in every way imaginable.

In this, the city of brotherly love, I also thought about words Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

Reflecting about what I expect from my relationship with Christ, it dawned on me that when I finally go all in with Jesus… when I choose to live the life he intended for me… it is probably not going to look pretty to the outside world. When I finally allow Jesus to set me free it is likely that others will see me as flawed. Chiseled. Cracked.

For some reason I can’t explain, that thought comforts me.